How do you tell family or friends?

I'm in a bit of a crisis and I don't want to sound whiney or needy but how do you tell your family or friends that you're into Dollfie Dreams? I know my family very well and they would think I'm immature or stupid for like DD's so that's why I've decided to keep it under wraps. I've only shared my love for DD's with a close online friend that I talk to everyday and I've gotten her into liking DD's a little but that doesn't seem to be enough. I know until I get my first DD I won't feel like "part of the gang". I am sorry to bother ya''ll about this but there are so many things going on in my life right now and I'm just completely frustrated.

 

There is almost no one except for my friend that I can tell...at least no one that I know really well and it's about driving me insane that I can't open up and let my true self shine. I don't wnat to be the girl who is so bottled up that I seem unapproachable. But because of my family situation there is nothing I can do.

 

Anywho......thank you....I needed to rant though there is more to my stress than just not being able to tell anyone that I like DD's. In fact there is a bigger problem than that...

You just tell them. It's just a hobby, it's not like you're telling them you're LGBTQ.

If they don't like it, big deal. They're not the ones in the hobby, you are. They don't have to like it unless they're the ones paying for it.

I have always collected dolls/toys (My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, Care Bears, model dinosaurs). Here is a photo of my closet of My Little Ponies from when I was a kid:

 

 

My parents had no trouble believing I would keep collecting a rainbow variety of cute things...

 

Sailormoon dolls

 

My mom even cheered me on when bidding on Sailormoon dolls on Ebay when I would come home for Christmas.

 

My DDs are just a much bigger version of what I had been collecting since childhood. I haven't told them how many DDs I have at this point because there is a finite chance they would be shocked and worry about me. The first person in my family I told about DDs was my brother. He prefers resin dolls to DDs, but he is accepting of my DDs. He says he just wouldn't get one himself. Next, I told my otaku cousin. She really likes them. I told my parents I have lots and lots of dolls. This was no surprise to them.

 

Last year, I took my Morikawa Yuki, Haruka, home for Christmas. This was the first DD my parents saw in person. My mom loves her. I think the sweet expression of Yuki-types helps. My dad just figured it was natural I have dolls. I was a little worried he might try to take her apart since he is an engineer and loves to take things apart. I think my family are supportive of me as long as they don't realize I have a community of DDs. My mom is hoping the others are 1/6 scale and Haruka is the only 1/3 scale one and presides over the little ones as their queen.

 

My co-workers also know I have DDs. Since 2003, I showed them photos of DDs off the Volks site. They had a hard time understanding them until I brought one to work. It can be hard to explain what DDs are like and what draws people to them. They don't make sense to some people until they see them in person. Then they are impressed by how detailed they are and how much work goes into them. I do have some co-workers who would prefer not to be seen in public in the presence of a DD, but most are comfortable around them. Some co-workers even grew up in homes filled with porcelain dolls and think DDs are a great improvement.

 

For me, it also helps to be a girl. People don't think I am so strange carrying a doll around. Our city is small but it is also very international. People from other countries approach me when I am taking photos of my DDs outside in public parks. They are interested in what they are and where they come from. Some are even from Japan and are excited to see something like a DD in the United States.

 

I really appreciate that my DD-related experiences are so positive. I think that really helps. I hope you can find friends who are accepting of your hobby. You at least have us for support.

Thanks Mitsuki that means alot. Though I've never collected that many girly things so to my family that might come as quite a shock to them my mom was always trying to get me to be a tomboy but I wasn't that type. I'm sort of in bwtween girly and tomboy actually XDD but when I was little I had boy toys like Hot Wheels and Tonka xDD I was also into video games...something I picked up from my dad. He used to buy me all the gaming systems like GameBoy, Sega Dreamcast, and PlayStation. I had a few barbies because my grandma tried to make me more of a girly girl but the barbies were okay until I got to a certain age and now I just cringe everytime I think about Barbies (except if they're though pretty international collector's dolls. I remember my cousins' dad bought them some and they displayed them in their old house and I was envious those barbies were so beautiful....they even had a rare collectible russian princess barbie!)

 

But with Dollfie Dreams its much different. I feel that I can become a more open person if I had one plus I'd probably be happier because right now I don't have much of a life staying at home all the time and taking care of my two year sister while my mother goes out almost everyday and doesn't take care of my sister until its time for them both to go to bed.

 

My mom is VERY critical so its best I not tell her and actually there has always been tension between us so much so to the point where I greatly dislike her. As for my other family members they'd think I'm wierdo but I'm sure if they saw it in person they wouldn't be so critical. Right now feeling accepted by my family is what matters to me. I'm a VERY sensitive person....most of the time I won't care about what my family thinks but for this...I kinda want their acceptance.

 

Thank you, I know I can count on you all for support if times get rough. Lord only knows I need all the support I can get.

Edited October 12, 2011 by Guest

Well i hope i can help especially from being a male collector.

 

I haven't told to many people about my Aoi. Really not cause i don't want to, rather i'm gone a lot and don't have time to talk to them. I remember when i first told my wife, it was a little un-nerving. She new i always collected girly anime figures and never was upset about it, so i finally showed her the girl i wanted to buy, and she was cool with it. Only thing she cringed about was the price-tag. My mother-in-law knows too and doesn't really care. She knows too that i'm a big otaku, so i guess she kinda figured i'd collect things like this. In fact, both my wife and mother-in-law are gonna teach me how to SEW!!! I can't wait

 

The hardest person it was for me to tell was my dad. Since i work with my dad, and i bring Aoi with me, it was inevitable. I was actually scared that he was gonna laugh or think bad about me, me being is only son, but he was cool with it. He goofs on me now and then, but that's just the relationship between me and my dad. we always kid around like that. He always tells me that i shouldn't care what others think and just live life and be happy.

 

I'm sorry to hear you mom is abusive towards you. I know how that feels all to well. I didn't get to much physical from her(granted my sister got a lot and i did get my fair share), however i got more of a mental abuse from her. If you ever want to talk more personally about it just pm me here or you can leave me an e-mail at: censor. If i can help or you need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to ask. I'll be a friend and try to give support as best as i can.

 

I hope this helps and gives you more courage to be yourself. Never let anyone make you feel bad about yourself, no matter who it is. And remember, no one has the right to make your self-worth smaller than what it really is.

 

Wayne

Edited October 12, 2011 by Guest

Well i hope i can help especially from being a male collector.

 

I haven't told to many people about my Aoi. Really not cause i don't want to, rather i'm gone a lot and don't have time to talk to them. I remember when i first told my wife, it was a little un-nerving. She new i always collected girly anime figures and never was upset about it, so i finally showed her the girl i wanted to buy, and she was cool with it. Only thing she cringed about was the price-tag. My mother-in-law knows too and doesn't really care. She knows too that i'm a big otaku, so i guess she kinda figured i'd collect things like this. In fact, both my wife and mother-in-law are gonna teach me how to SEW!!! I can't wait

 

The hardest person it was for me to tell was my dad. Since i work with my dad, and i bring Aoi with me, it was inevitable. I was actually scared that he was gonna laugh or think bad about me, me being is only son, but he was cool with it. He goofs on me now and then, but that's just the relationship between me and my dad. we always kid around like that. He always tells me that i shouldn't care what others think and just live life and be happy.

 

I'm sorry to hear you mom is abusive towards you. I know how that feels all to well. I didn't get to much physical from her(granted my sister got a lot and i did get my fair share), however i got more of a mental abuse from her. If you ever want to talk more personally about it just pm me here or you can leave me an e-mail at: censor. If i can help or you need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to ask. I'll be a friend and try to give support as best as i can.

 

I hope this helps and gives you more courage to be yourself. Never let anyone make you feel bad about yourself, no matter who it is. And remember, no one has the right to make your self-worth smaller than what it really is.

 

Wayne

 

Thank you....I think 've read you can't post your email for security reasons sooo yeah. I sent you an email though. I guess it would be more stressful being a guy and confessing you like DD's. And most people won't understand that this is a hobby made more for young adults (with the prices for clothing and whatnot yeah you've got to be mature and know how to spend your money)

My family knows I have resin dolls, and I informed my Dad and Step-mom about Dollfie Dreams and my plotting to get atleast one, and they've been pretty supportive.( They don't know that dolls exist that cost over $300, if they knew how much I spent on my big RingDoll boys they'd flip out! XD) However, I think being a dealer gives me a little bit of leverage of trust because I usually test the quality of a company's products and service by buying a doll from them for myself to see if I want to deal with them more in the future. However, because of that my dolls are all fairly spoiled.

 

The only dolls most of my family have seen in person are 1/4 scale dolls ( specifically my Angel of Dream Fei and Lan, as well as my dyed tan DollZone Mo.) My Dad and Stepmom thought my poor boy Marik was a girl, and my Mom complained that Marik is...er.... anatomically correct. ^^'

 

My boyfriend is a manga/anime collector and while he enjoys my girl resins ok, he doesn't care for my boys much (too bishie apparently.) I should note that he does have a resin girl of his own, but once I got Ichiko, he's been pretty smitten with her. I had a feeling he'd like the Dollfie Dream girls, so I have thought about getting him a girl of his own someday.

 

My friends are already quite aware. Many of them also collect resin dolls, but DDs are the minority in our little local group. There are a few individuals who just don't like the styles of the DDs, and that's always fine. We all know we each have our own preferences when it comes to styles of dolls. Besides, if any of your existing friends can't accept that you have a hobby you enjoy, then who needs them? I even have friends who are terrified of my dolls, so whenever they're around, I respectful keep any contact my guest would have with them minimal, but I'm not going to change who I am for their sake.

Well, it's a tough topic.

I'm male, married and over 40. And weird as well.

The fact alone that I'm (still ) watching anime is - or rather was - strange to my friends and colleagues. Here in Poland anything animated is mostly assumed - "for children".

But then I explained, that in many countries, especially Japan, animation is only a medium to tell stories.

Stories about everything in life, and some of them are definitely not for children. ("Elfen Lied", beginning, anyone? )

The same for manga - it's like a literature here, but more in pictures than letters.

Probably because of the Japanese kanji - they're basically pictures of words.

And everyone knows, that I'm interested in Japan and their culture.

Explanation helped, now it's ok.

The same for dolls - "for children". Or even "for girls".

But things change. We have quite large BJD community in Poland (still, more than 20:1 female-male ratio ). Mostly resin, but there are few DDs here.

So for me, the comix/manga/anime connection helped to explain, why I'm getting a doll.

Because it's a kind of collectors item.

I'm interested in photography, so I can take photos and doll is a interesting subject. She doesn't complain much

My other friends make RC model airplanes and plastic scale models (me too, sometimes)

And we're all weird "throwing money in the air", so really nobody thinks it's inappropriate for me to have a doll at home. To them, it's a kind of "human scale model" so nothing overly unusual.

 

Some people collect stamps, other ones coins, books or paintings... Why You can't have a collector's doll?

Some dolls, especially resins, give some people creepy aura. But all my girls are smiling and positive (the first resin girl too), and that helps much. They're even being perceived as pretty... objects?

I think, most DDs have this positive aura. Some more than others. Get one, we have very nice forum here, and I hope everything will be ok.

 

PS. I hope, You understood my thoughts. Hard to think in foreign language.

I remember having the same fears about explaining things to my family. I was fortunate enough to know my Mother is OK with whatever I got into - though she's worried about how much they cost me. I guess that's a logical concern, I know sometimes I worry about that as well. haha I think my father just thinks it's another silly hobby but thankfully he's ok with it as well.

 

Since I'm a 42 year old single man, people may look at me more strangely for having dolls and I don't really blame them. We all have our own little worlds we live in that shape our beliefs. I wasn't brought up in a family that got interested in watching sports on TV, so when I see some peoples addiction to football I find it odd...

 

I think the best thing may be to explain to them what your interested in. Tell them about the community of different people who are also into these dolls. Maybe they can understand that you are just into something different than they are used to but that doesn't make it strange or bad. Just different.

 

Most of all, if you even have any stress over it let us know on the forum or contact someone just as Waynio said. Feel free to PM or message me if you want! My info should be under my avitar.

 

I love the time I spend on the forums and with my DDs but even more I love the time I get to chat with the close friends I've made, some of who I talk to daily! Don't let their concerns about your hobby prevent you from enjoying your life!!!

 

**James

I've been with my MSD around the dorm, and the other students tend to ask about her, or look at her. Not really creeped out.

 

Not sure how I'll tell my parents -_- They already have ample evidence to decide that I'm gay (I'm an art student, I love cakes, and all my friends are girls). When I move back to the United States, I'll probably keep my dolls hidden until I move out to school again.

So far I've given my aunt in California the condensed version of my love for dollfies and I guess she seems to understnad. Sure she thinks I'm wierd (she's always thought I was quirky for being obsessed with anime but she doesn't judge me) So I feel better about at least having my aunt on my side. I'm sure my other aunt (my dad's older sister) wouldn't mind as long as I'm the one who pays for everything. Plus I have the support of my online friend who is going to make outfits for my first daughter. I feel empowered yet still a bit shakey and unsure.

With people I'm close to, I just told them. They were all astonished at the size, but now they call her by name and ask how she's doing! DD just have such sweet faces, they aren't intimidating.

Well, I suppose that you will have to tell than sooner or latter. If you can, avoid the price topic....

In the end, they will have to accept. After all, it is your choice and your money, no?

 

But you can make things easier to your family and friends if you do not spend all of your time with the doll. Especially not the all the time you usually spent with them!

 

I sugest you put the doll in a nice place in your room, so them will see her and slowly adapt to her presence, instead of taking her everywhere you go.

 

Here, this strategy is working. In the end, my parents thought it was strange. But after a few weeks they even helped me to take photos of her in the cherry trees! (actually, my dad took over my camera and took all the pics! I think he was a little overexcited with the idea of beeing a photographer )

 

Sometimes, they still talk how I shouldn't be so involved with dolls in my age. But I really hope that with time they will accept this as they accept the color of my eyes and the tone of my voice. As a part of me that cannot be changed.

 

in the end, things are no so difficult as they appear. But I still bracing myself for what will happen when they found 2 more dolls in my bedroom... Or when I try to take Beatrice on a travel. Not that this will stop me.

These verses below reportedly were written on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta, India, and are widely attributed to her.

 

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.

 

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

 

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

 

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

 

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

 

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

 

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

 

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

 

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

-Credited to Mother Teresa

 

In other words,

 

If you play with dolls, you may be shunned;

Play with dolls anyway.

 

Me: "Euphie~, let's go for a walk."

Euphie: "But... people may think bad of you..."

Me: *grab Euphie's hand "I'll take you with me anyway."

I remember how awkward it was bringing that up with my mum being a guy and all.

Showed her Erika online and she thought she was cute.(She also said the skirt was a bit short but there you go!) My dad and sister found it abit funny and joked about it for a few days but are both fine with it.

 

Im not really ready to go walking around my town holding her just yet but im sure i will get there.

 

Would love to find a community in south wales that I could be apart of but would probally be kind of hard.

 

Just be yourself and quite frankly screw what other people think of you. If you are happy and it is not hurting any one what does it matter?

I have to say that I am really lucky about that. My partner is a gamer (way much better than myself), loves cosplay and figures as much as I do. Our place is full consoles, games, figures and other anime/manga related stuff (see his flickr).

 

When I told him today that I couldn't hold back anymore he simply said: "go for it!"

 

But before finalizing my order, I talked to my mom about it. Despite of my age and probably because of the distance between us, we talk about everything. We are together for just a week or two per year, so what is not said, the other cannot know. And guess what was her reaction (even after knowing the price)? "Buy it, my dear. If you like it, why not?"

 

That was all that I need.

 

I know that at work, I shouldn't talk about it, but as long as the people who really matter to me agree with that, I am a happy person.

 

It is a pity to see that some of you experience issues. It is great that there are safe places like here where one can talk freely about their hobby.

But before finalizing my order, I talked to my mom about it. Despite of my age and probably because of the distance between us, we talk about everything. We are together for just a week or two per year, so what is not said, the other cannot know. And guess what was her reaction (even after knowing the price)? "Buy it, my dear. If you like it, why not?"

 

I love how parents can surprise you sometimes! I remember when I was a teenager and wanted money to go to a rock concert (Def Leppard!!!! haha ) I expected my Mom to say no. I figured she thought it was silly music and not worth the money.

 

She surprised me by loaning me the money and saying that this would be a special memory and it's good to have those, that I would always remember it. She was right, I do remember the show and the fun I had with my friends there. I think the same can be said of DDs for some people. Yes, they are expensive but they can also bring you a lot of fun and joy!

 

I think it's important not to let your worries over what others may say prevent you from enjoying things that you like. Unfortunately, it's not always an easy thing to do.

 

**James

My whole family didn't understand at first because I live 8 hours away from them, but as soon as I brought my resin dolls around and started showing them some of the doll photography they all opened up to it a bit more. My sister now follows my flickr religiously, and my mom even started making outfits and wigs for my girls. (she actually just purchased her first doll because she "needed a better model for her etsy shop") So I dunno, just exposing the skeptics can some times make a world of difference. Oddly with my MDD girl who is on the way this was the first doll my boyfriend didn't think was just "another stupid doll". But it also could have been because he's excited he can pick her chest size. >.<;

Telling my friends and family was a bit of an eye opener for me, it helped me realise who my 'better' friends were. As fas as how I told people, I was just so excited that I couldn't help but tell everyone I knew and show them photos, I never considered it might even be a problem.

 

My family didn't really bat an eyelid, they were a little sceptical, but since I have plenty of anime figures and posters around, Yoko didn't surprise them much. I've been brought up with 3 sisters (me being the only boy) so I've always been exposed to a lot of girly hobbies, and dolls certainly are perceived as girly by most people I know, and that's just part of who I am.

 

My friends were less accepting. The general response was that I was an idiot, and that I had wasted so much money. No consideration for what I might actually want. But a few of my friends were interested, asked me why I liked it, and though dolls weren't something they enjoyed, they didn't see any reason why I shouldn't.

With time, and the increase in size of my doll family, my friends have picked up that I genuinely love my dolls, and whilst they still don't really take an interest, they also don't try and put me down over it.

 

Nowadays I don't tend to actively broadcast that I'm into dolls, but people that meet and get to know me will eventually find out about it, after all I have photos of them on my facebook and talk about them on twitter. Then it is up to them if they want to ask me about them, or just ignore them.

Interesting question. I hadn't thought of Dollfie Dreams as a separate hobby that one might be worried about sharing with others before. I can see how it might be if you haven't grown up having to explain all your hobbies to people though.

 

What I mean is that I have so many Japanese-culture hobbies that cost money and are "weird" to people in the US, that dollfie just felt like another one on that list. So, for people who know my interests, then dollfie is just another one of them. And for people who don't (co-workers), then I don't talk about dollfie with them.

 

Family is the only gray area for me. I'm older and on my own, so the topic has simply never come up in conversation (I'm not close with family and talk to them infrequently). But I wouldn't mind telling them if they saw my DD daughter. They'd recognize her as anime-style right away and just go "ohhhh, I get it."