How to make our dolls universal acceptable?

Some people who know little about dolls may be unfriendly to our hobby.

This is not the case that I met.

But I know some doll fans have ever took a shock and keep hiding their dolls from non-doll-fans.

Especially males get bad image if they have a such hobby.

There were enough discussions about how unfriendly non-doll-fans are.

So I don't want to discuss any more.

Actually I believe most of they are friendly.

I hope we can make our dolls more universal acceptable.

Many people feel uncomfortable around these dolls because they look too much like real people, or that since the dolls have an expressive face, they also have feelings or spirits inside them. My brother told me he is especially uncomfortable around my dolls, and I thought he would understand more than other people. But he doesn't.

 

I prefer to share my love of the doll hobby with my friends who also love the dolls. I would like it if my non-doll friends were interested, but I know that some of them are not, so I don't want to force it upon them.

 

Also, if more people loved the dolls, it would make competition to get them even more difficult! I like that the doll community is small. I wouldn't want everyone to have them! I have plenty of friends who love them and enjoy talking about them and sharing them, so I don't feel the need to have a lot of doll friends.

 

I do wish that more of my friends would at least understand my hobby, but I don't understand some of their hobbies either!

 

Linda S.

galatia9

You just have to learn to feel who will and won't accept them. My in-laws seem to be okay with it (They already think I'm weird, proof in that I married their daughter. They are awesome, I love them.), but my parents aren't (They act like if we ignore it, then it's not happening.), so I just plan around that.

 

But then even I don't like the other Volks dolls, something about how the face ups are or something. I don't think they look real, just too much makeup, otherwise I might like them. But I like the DDs as there is not much makeup on them, and they are giant anime action figures!

I don't think there's much hope of universal acceptability. I just shoot for one close friend at a time.

Yeah, I don't think much can really be done about this either. I do wish people could at least learn to be tolerant at the very least. I know I'm lucky that everyone I've told has been totally cool with my hobby, but I know people in general may not be for various reasons.

 

In a way, I sort of wish dolls were at least highly normalized. So that no one would look twice at anyone with a doll outside. I'd like to be able to just carry on about my business without worrying about strangers coming up to talk to me or anything else. Not that I'm anti-social or unfriendly, but sometimes I would be in a mood to take photos but not to meet new people that day.

 

I'd really like to be able to take my dolls outside, but I'm just not there yet. So I'm mainly just satisfied that I can talk about them here, and that people closest to me understand and accept them and my choices in not just this hobby, but all my odd hobbies. I think that's the most I can ask for at this point in time.

Many people feel uncomfortable around these dolls because they look too much like real people,

 

 

I still loathe resins and standard BJDs with their 'uncanny valley' faces. They really creep me out. Was not a fan of dolls at all until I saw DDs; the anime aesthetic makes them really cute. They're not trying to look real like BJDs do. There's no uncanny trigger there. Same goes for most people I know. The unrealistic anime look is fine and cute, but once dolls try to look real, which most resins and other BJDs do, then it is really off-putting.

 

Fairly sure that will never change for me.

 

As for having anything universally accepted... it will never happen. No matter what it is, there will always be those who disparage and mock it. More so in niche hobbies.

 

Good video explaining the uncanny valley;

Many people feel uncomfortable around these dolls because they look too much like real people,

 

 

I still loathe resins and standard BJDs with their 'uncanny valley' faces. They really creep me out. Was not a fan of dolls at all until I saw DDs; the anime aesthetic makes them really cute. They're not trying to look real like BJDs do.

 

And I have heard the same thing but in reverse, swap "BJD" with "DDs". Many people from the BJD hobby don't like DDs because of their anime faces. There are many BJDs that don't fall in the realistic-face category, like Volks

 

If people withing the same hobby (as in "doll" hobby) can't agree with one another, I wouldn't expect those people outside the hobby to accept it.

 

This is why I don't care if people freak out when they see my dolls, or if they don't like them. Most people think that dolls=children so they think it is weird for an adult to collect dolls and hey! they have all the right to think that way as long as they don't bother me with it. My friends only look at me as if I have 2 heads and it doesn't bother me at all. I'm not asking for their comprehension, just for their respect. To each their own.

Where I live, most people.have curious looks. Me and some friends hung out with our dds and pure neemo at a tiny Subway on Saturday lol.

Having a friend there to support you, even if they are not a doll person, makes it so much easier!

 

Linda S.

galatia9

I think the difference between someone who gets it and someone who doesn't is, when you look at your doll you see an expression and character, but someone else sees big plastic blue circles mounted in a plastic (...) deformed sphere that resembles a head.

 

So if you're familiar with anime and you see a DD (any DD), you can make an instant association with the object you see and what it's supposed to be. Someone else might be like why does that look like a head. That is too big to be a head. That is not a head.

 

When I was in Japan last year taking these photos of Melty, what people saw first as they were walking by was the flowing kimono in the breeze with the sakura pattern (this is what I'd hear from people walking by and chatting... I mean seriously she looked perfect in the setting, unfortunately 99% of my photos sucked). What was interesting was that it was mostly the foreigners (tourists) who were most impressed, taking their own photos as they walked by and asking questions. I remember one lady was all O_O looking at Melty while she was talking to me, pointing out stuff like one of her socks needs to be pulled up higher. IIRC her husband had to pull her away XD More than one person mentioned that Melty was really sweet (and not even talking to me, just stuff I'd hear as they walk by), which is probably helped by the initial impression of the flowing kimono.

 

I couldn't get myself to put on the hat, it felt like it'd ruin everyone's impression...

 

I ended up rambling a bit but my point is if I just randomly told someone "hey check out my doll" I should expect ಠ_ಠ

 

OTOH cute kimono + sakura pattern + breeze + flying cherry blossoms + Melty = totally understood.

... unfortunately 99% of my photos sucked).

 

and here I thought your photos were ones of the best I have ever seen. All your girls always look stunning in those photos, I can only imagine how they look in person. No wonder those people were awestruck by Melty

I'm honestly not concerned with universal acceptability for my dolls. I think there are much bigger issues in the world that need that before dolls.

 

In the case of dolls, I feel like you have two major thinks that will always affect its ability to be "universally acceptable."

 

1.) The word "doll" elicits a very specific image in the mind of the major population, and that's of a "toy." The major population will think of Barbie, Raggedy Ann, or porcelain dolls as a short list of examples. These items are for children, and that's how people think of them. So, when an ADULT mentions having a doll collection it isn't exactly taken as normal. And no matter how very adult our dolls are, they are still a "doll," a "toy," so not for an adult. People are taught early on to let go of a lot of stuff in their adolescence, specifically things that are childish. That judgement naturally will overhang some people's minds no matter what ya do, unfortunately. And as a side note, when in a concentrated population of people with similar thinking (So here) it is easy to forget that a major chunk of the world just sees you as a adult who is way too into toys still.

 

As a yet another side note- The other thing that could get to people because dolls make you think of toys is that the hypersexualization of DDs or Angel Philias, etc, are that it comes off creepy because ya know, toys are for kids, and these seem closer to sex dolls now.

 

2.) Dolls are scary. No joke, dolls, specifically porcelain or any other "life-like" dolls are considered positively disturbing to a HUGE chunk of the population. So no matter how big their eyes, no matter how unrealistic the proportions, some people see a doll and they are just scared. They think its eyes are going to follow them, and that they may be moving on their own. As a fun fact, I hate the idea of DD Honey because I don't want my doll to move. Sure, I can turn it off, but F no do I want my doll to ever have the chance to move on me. No thank you, sir.

 

I think others have made good tips to follow. Make friends with people in the hobby already, and just try to hope your close friends understand. If not, you always have the resource of this forum or many like it to get support for your love for these dolls. It may not be exactly what you pictured, but something is always better than nothing. ^^

Edited November 2, 2016 by Guest

Whenever I talk to people who have nothing to do with this hobby (or even figures and stuff), I just take the time to explain that they're not like Barbies, but that they are pose-able so you can take photos of them and that you can make things for them and customize them however you want, in a very "this is totally normal" kind of tone. I afterwards usually show them photos of my dolls. So far, I have never had negative response to them, on the contrary, the response has been very positive ^ ^ usually my friends would ask me how much they cost and I'd tell them, and they'd frown at the price and say they don't understand why I'd spend this much on dolls, but eventually they get past that...

The word "doll" elicits a very specific image in the mind of the major population, and that's of a "toy." The major population will think of Barbie, Raggedy Ann, or porcelain dolls as a short list of examples. These items are for children, and that's how people think of them. So, when an ADULT mentions having a doll collection it isn't exactly taken as normal. And no matter how very adult our dolls are, they are still a "doll," a "toy," so not for an adult. People are taught early on to let go of a lot of stuff in their adolescence, specifically things that are childish. That judgement naturally will overhang some people's minds no matter what ya do, unfortunately. And as a side note, when in a concentrated population of people with similar thinking (So here) it is easy to forget that a major chunk of the world just sees you as a adult who is way too into toys still.

 

As a yet another side note- The other thing that could get to people because dolls make you think of toys is that the hypersexualization of DDs or Angel Philias, etc, are that it comes off creepy because ya know, toys are for kids, and these seem closer to sex dolls now.

One thing that bothers me as an adult doll enthusiast is that my non-doll friends assume I automatically like ALL dolls and want to know if I buy fashion dolls, porcelain dolls, apple head dolls, reborn baby dolls, etc. Since I don't often (or ever) show them my dolls, they don't have a real concept of what I do like. I sort of wish I hadn't brought up the subject with them, because now I have to endure uncomfortable conversations explaining why I don't like those other kinds of dolls.

 

I agree that the hypersexualization of some of our dolls REALLY turns some people off. I don't want to have to explain to my non-doll friends that I enjoy showing off how cute and sexy my dolls are, but I don't go into that territory where it becomes doll porn. I know where that dividing line is for me, but they don't. They just see massive cleavage or lingerie or skimpy bathing suits, and assume I'm doing something they would consider improper. I have a hard enough time explaining it to my friends who DO collect BJDs.

 

Linda S.

galatia9

Many people feel uncomfortable around these dolls because they look too much like real people, or that since the dolls have an expressive face, they also have feelings or spirits inside them. My brother told me he is especially uncomfortable around my dolls, and I thought he would understand more than other people. But he doesn't.

 

I prefer to share my love of the doll hobby with my friends who also love the dolls. I would like it if my non-doll friends were interested, but I know that some of them are not, so I don't want to force it upon them.

 

Also, if more people loved the dolls, it would make competition to get them even more difficult! I like that the doll community is small. I wouldn't want everyone to have them! I have plenty of friends who love them and enjoy talking about them and sharing them, so I don't feel the need to have a lot of doll friends.

 

I do wish that more of my friends would at least understand my hobby, but I don't understand some of their hobbies either!

 

Linda S.

galatia9

 

I think DD with anime faces are more acceptable.

However, people who believe spirits are hard to accept dolls.

 

I have paid a lot of effort to let people who know little about doll be more friendly to our hobby.

The results are better than I supposed.

I think universal acceptability does not mean acceptable to everyone, but to the majority.

Impossible? Just talk to those who care about your hobby....

Impossible? Just talk to those who care about your hobby....

 

U take great photos.

Is that not enough to make people around you like your dolls?

Whenever I talk to people who have nothing to do with this hobby (or even figures and stuff), I just take the time to explain that they're not like Barbies, but that they are pose-able so you can take photos of them and that you can make things for them and customize them however you want, in a very "this is totally normal" kind of tone. I afterwards usually show them photos of my dolls. So far, I have never had negative response to them, on the contrary, the response has been very positive ^ ^ usually my friends would ask me how much they cost and I'd tell them, and they'd frown at the price and say they don't understand why I'd spend this much on dolls, but eventually they get past that...

 

Yeah, U are good.

I can't agree more.

I suppose that people can understand the value of our dolls if the hobby is in an elegant or art style.

... unfortunately 99% of my photos sucked).

and here I thought your photos were ones of the best I have ever seen. All your girls always look stunning in those photos, I can only imagine how they look in person. No wonder those people were awestruck by Melty

Heh, thanks But the two I showed were a couple of the early ones before I figured out the pose. It was my first (and last) time taking photos outside, and I didn't realize at the time I was taking a ton of upskirt shots

(－‸ლ)

 

1.) The word "doll" elicits a very specific image in the mind of the major population, and that's of a "toy." The major population will think of Barbie, Raggedy Ann, or porcelain dolls as a short list of examples. These items are for children, and that's how people think of them.

Very true. I have to admit that personally I was really insecure about trying to get into this hobby because of that. A large part of it is what other people would think, the other part was just something like, "wtf I really need to do this?" Eventually after going through the Flickr group and seeing many beautiful photos, I decided I just wanted one of those beautiful things, who cares if it's a doll.

1.) The word "doll" elicits a very specific image in the mind of the major population, and that's of a "toy." The major population will think of Barbie, Raggedy Ann, or porcelain dolls as a short list of examples. These items are for children, and that's how people think of them.

Very true. I have to admit that personally I was really insecure about trying to get into this hobby because of that. A large part of it is what other people would think, the other part was just something like, "wtf I really need to do this?" Eventually after going through the Flickr group and seeing many beautiful photos, I decided I just wanted one of those beautiful things, who cares if it's a doll.

 

The funny thing is it didn't hit me that I was now into dolls until after I got her. At first it was just me getting the awesomest thing there was on the market that I found as a big fan of Hatsune Miku. Once I ordered her and got some outfits in and had her get here and me open the box and dress her that my 12 year old son asked me what I was doing did I stop and think, "I JUST BOUGHT AND DRESSED A DOLL!" I jokingly told him it was a giant action figure (Then said not really, it's a doll.). That's when the insecurity sunk in. How will I break this to people outside my household? I can handle being seen in public with her? And so on. Now that pre-ordered one for my wife (At her request.) I think things will become easier for me, more so when she has hers and we go out together with them. Also meeting some local DD parents (And finding out I knew one of them way back.) has also helped, and I hope we can do a DD photo walk once it cools down. It is what it is. I'm happy, and that's all that really matters.

Sorry about bad responses. I'm struggling with sleep so my mind isn't exactly functioning in full form.

 

@Galatia9

 

I actually had that same issue before, and found that in the end, I either need to explain in annoyingly precise detail to the people who know, or tell them absolutely nothing (Like to the point that they don't even know that they exist). I was never a doll lover before these dolls (not even as a kid, in fact I found them spooky, and much preferred G.I. Joes) and it frustrated me to have to explain to people that no I don't like these dolls, especially cause they'd name dolls I didn't even know exists. So my solve was just annoying detail, and usually that stopped it. Some peeps are just dense though.

 

I hate it, but sexualizing anything generally gets you a weird look. I think sensual things are gorgeous, and indulging in that is totally natural, but....behind closed doors according to society. It seems you have to be on one of two extremes. All the way in the pervy world or totally out, and yet, especially in the doll hobby, most are somewhere in between. I actually hate the conversation more with people in the BJD hobby because I think ABJD fans do way more sex scenes with their dolls than DD owners do, and yet we are the ones who are shamed because you own an item of dynamic feminism, which is purposely very sexual. I collect both, but definitely see lines when you get along this subject.

 

And I think explaining anything sexual to anyone you aren't just naturally comfortable with is, well, uncomfortable. Too many questions that you don't feel comfortable answering. Boils back down to sex is a hard subject to approach sometimes.

 

@Foo

 

It's good you managed through it, and I think a lot of people struggle with it even after they start buying. I've known people who have collected dolls for years (Like 10++) and still question each time they buy another. It isn't a great place to be. If you get out fast, then good on you. ^^

 

I'm funny enough a late to the party in this insecurity. I started the hobby as a teenager (I was made to get a job at 16-years-old, and found ABJDs right after that. I was doomed.). It wasn't till I was 20 and realized I was still dumping the majority of my disposable income into dolls that I started to worry about how old I was, and that I was still just indulging in "dolls." I actually went down hill cause of that, but managed through it.

 

I think everyone should just do what they think will make them happy, but damn is it hard to actually get into that mindset truly sometimes.

 

@Sinclair

 

I hope with your wife you can start to feel more comfortable. ^^ It also becomes way easier to explain when you are in a pair who share a hobby, or so I'd imagine. And, man, doll meets are the best. It forces you into a weird place where you are in public and with your dolls, but because you are in a group you can all be weird together. Feels so much better than personally being judged directly. At least, it does to me.

 

~~~~~

 

I think there's a part of me that's really bothered by the idea of universal acceptability. Mostly, if one thing is, then I feel like everything should be. So basically, I feel like collecting trains should be universally acceptable if dolls are? I just get hung up on the literal meaning of things. I don't have the ability to broaden it beyond the actual phrasing. And the actual phrasing makes me feel like we're gonna turn into a doll cult. EVERYONE MUST ACCEPT OUR HOBBY.

I think DD with anime faces are more acceptable.

 

U take great photos.

Is that not enough to make people around you like your dolls?

 

The thing is not everyone sees DDs with the same eyes that we do, and not everyone likes anime. Some people might like DDs less because of the anime style. Some people will never like or appreciate dolls, and we just have to accept that.

 

I remember when I first saw ABJDs and I thought they were the most amazing thing ever, it took me years to understand other people see them differently and don't always find them so amazing. I'm glad when someone sees a doll and thinks it's beautiful, but I don't expect it.

@Sinclair

 

I hope with your wife you can start to feel more comfortable.

 

I'm sure once it's both of us with one each together, then we shan't have issues going out with them.

 

..., I feel like collecting trains should be universally acceptable ...

 

You mean they aren't? Oh dear, I'm in trouble. I've got 2 socially unacceptable hobbies?

 

 

..., I feel like collecting trains should be universally acceptable ...

 

You mean they aren't? Oh dear, I'm in trouble. I've got 2 socially unacceptable hobbies?

 

 

 

OH WELL THEN. XD Quite the collection, though I admit I think model trains are nifty, but was just the example of choice. I think someone somewhere will always find someone else's hobby as strange.

I know (Hence the at the end.), and I just had to post it as I've felt looked down on for my trains too. But I've loved them since before I was born, so I've always been able to shrug the negative comments off. I'm learning to do the same for my girls now. They say to play with trains you just never grow up. I got the love from my grandfather, and I know he was always a kid at heart too, so it can be done. So I guess I'm just really childish as I play with trains and dolls. Just wait until I get the garden sized trains, then my girls will be riding them like people do with 1.5" scale trains.