How to make our dolls universal acceptable?

 

And I have heard the same thing but in reverse, swap "BJD" with "DDs". Many people from the BJD hobby don't like DDs because of their anime faces. There are many BJDs that don't fall in the realistic-face category, like Volks

 

If people withing the same hobby (as in "doll" hobby) can't agree with one another, I wouldn't expect those people outside the hobby to accept it.

 

This is why I don't care if people freak out when they see my dolls, or if they don't like them. Most people think that dolls=children so they think it is weird for an adult to collect dolls and hey! they have all the right to think that way as long as they don't bother me with it. My friends only look at me as if I have 2 heads and it doesn't bother me at all. I'm not asking for their comprehension, just for their respect. To each their own.

 

That's me! I was a resin BJD collector (and fashion doll collector) that thought DDs were hideous. I couldn't understand why anyone would like them. But about a year ago (just under a year ago), I stumbled upon Smart Doll Mirai and DD Sheryl and fell in love with them, and all of a sudden I looked at these dolls COMPLETELY differently. So much so that my tastes have done a 180. Now, I still collect fashion dolls, but I've given up on resin BJDs. They just don't appeal to me at all anymore. Meanwhile, I can't get enough of the anime look. I now own 7 DDs and 5 Smart Dolls, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

 

That's me! I was a resin BJD collector (and fashion doll collector) that thought DDs were hideous. I couldn't understand why anyone would like them. But about a year ago (just under a year ago), I stumbled upon Smart Doll Mirai and DD Sheryl and fell in love with them, and all of a sudden I looked at these dolls COMPLETELY differently. So much so that my tastes have done a 180. Now, I still collect fashion dolls, but I've given up on resin BJDs. They just don't appeal to me at all anymore. Meanwhile, I can't get enough of the anime look. I now own 7 DDs and 5 Smart Dolls, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

 

Lol we have so much in common!

 

I also used to dislike DDs a lot and for many years I ignored them. I've always liked anime so it wasn't because of the anime faces. There was something that didn't grab my attention...until last year now I love them but alas, mine are all boys (there is one girl I want but she is so expensive in the second-hand marketplace.) I also still love BJDs and fashion dolls (seriously, I love all dolls).

 

Hearing people say "BJDs are creepy" or "DDs are creepy" saddens me but I usually see this among doll collectors. Outsiders only say "cute" or they ignore them. If doll collectors find certain dolls "creepy" I don't expect non-doll collectors to accept them with open arms...

I think DD with anime faces are more acceptable.

 

U take great photos.

Is that not enough to make people around you like your dolls?

 

The thing is not everyone sees DDs with the same eyes that we do, and not everyone likes anime. Some people might like DDs less because of the anime style. Some people will never like or appreciate dolls, and we just have to accept that.

 

I remember when I first saw ABJDs and I thought they were the most amazing thing ever, it took me years to understand other people see them differently and don't always find them so amazing. I'm glad when someone sees a doll and thinks it's beautiful, but I don't expect it.

 

Well, I guess you are right.

Many people look dolls in another way.

 

BUT I think it is possible to make people feel okay with our hobby instead of let them accept dolls.

This is the first step to get a better environment.

Try to make them feel this is a good hobby.

Once this was done, people who don't like dolls would doubt their common senses.

Though there is a long way to go.

Try to make them feel this is a good hobby.

Once this was done, people who don't like dolls would doubt their common senses.

 

This sounds like a awful lot of peer-pressuring. :/ That's far from the kinda hobby environment I wanna be in.

 

Everyone is right to their own opinion, including the one to disagree with this hobby. To try to make them change it because the population says "no, you should like them, please doubt your own opinion now" is actually bordering on crazy sounding. It is grossly manipulative and entirely unnecessary.

 

Dolls are a luxury item. They aren't a key necessity in any life. You can live without them, and you can live without complete acceptance of them. This is just a hobby.

 

Learning to accept people will always have differences from you is a key part of being an adult, and being a human being. You may not like it, but that's just reality. While acceptance in a grander scale is nice to think about (I'm fine either way at this point), but it isn't fair if we were to force people, or pressure people into making their opinions feel invalid.

 

Sorry for the rambling. You stepped on something that actually really bothers me. Pressuring people is never the answer. Never. I'm also sorry if I misunderstood your intentions, but that's how I read them. It could be language barrier, but still I feel like my points are valid.

 

On a happier note,

@sinclair

 

Dude, I'd love to see ya get one of those giant trains. Would probably be the best pictures ever with the DD too. o3o I actually envy people who have them cause they seem so cool, and a ton of fun to ride on, haha.

Edited November 7, 2016 by Guest

I think it would be nice if "collecting dolls" was a more accepted or even understood hobby.

 

I think all dolls in general get a pretty bad rep thanks to kitchy horror movies. But I think it's also a fairly niche and obscure hobby, which it makes people at least go "Huh?" when you bring them up in conversation.

 

I tend to skirt around the topic when people ask me about my hobbies, not because I'm embarrassed by my dolls, but because I find the topic tedious & awkward to explain. If I say, "I like to paint or do sewing, or write", people tend to go: "Oh, that's pretty neat!" but if I mention it's for dolls, instead I get a blank stare and an "Oh. I see."o______o;;;;; At best, they might be intrigued & politely ask about them, which I find awkward to explain (I'm not very good at conversation & tend to ramble on); at worst they become judgemental (especially if a price is mentioned lol). I just shrug it off now, but when I was younger it used to really get me down.

 

I can imagine that being constantly bombarded by an indifferent (or negative) attitude from family & friends towards something you're passionate about can be very discouraging.

 

It's funny though, because I met my partner though the BJD hobby and folks always like to ask "So how did you guys meet?" I just laugh and say though an internet forum and we got talking and discovered we share a lot of similar hobbies & met up though a group of friends. (DoA~ so it's technically true lol)

Try to make them feel this is a good hobby.

Once this was done, people who don't like dolls would doubt their common senses.

 

This sounds like a awful lot of peer-pressuring. :/ That's far from the kinda hobby environment I wanna be in.

 

Everyone is right to their own opinion, including the one to disagree with this hobby. To try to make them change it because the population says "no, you should like them, please doubt your own opinion now" is actually bordering on crazy sounding. It is grossly manipulative and entirely unnecessary.

 

Dolls are a luxury item. They aren't a key necessity in any life. You can live without them, and you can live without complete acceptance of them. This is just a hobby.

 

Learning to accept people will always have differences from you is a key part of being an adult, and being a human being. You may not like it, but that's just reality. While acceptance in a grander scale is nice to think about (I'm fine either way at this point), but it isn't fair if we were to force people, or pressure people into making their opinions feel invalid.

 

Sorry for the rambling. You stepped on something that actually really bothers me. Pressuring people is never the answer. Never. I'm also sorry if I misunderstood your intentions, but that's how I read them. It could be language barrier, but still I feel like my points are valid.

 

Yeah, I guess you are right.

BUT it is paradox that you pressured me by telling me not pressure people.

It is impossible to perfectly avoid pressuring.

What you can do is trying to avoid it, but you don't.

Well, forget that because you mean well.

 

It is my fault that sounds bully things, but I don't mean to do so.

May be pressuring is the true meaning of universal acceptability since it is impossible.

However the hobby of dolls is too far from it and in the opposite side called "pressured".

I want to change it.

To reach the middle side "neither pressuring or pressured",

does your way "just pushing people back" works?

Please let me know that.

More specifically how are you and your hobby?

A middle ground would be great, but I think the only way to get there is awareness, that's usually the best method. The more you know, after all.

 

Sorry for my rambling and getting a little off track, I didn't mean to be insulting. I let myself get too firm, and for that I apologize. I just found it offensive, and found myself being defensive to think that we would need to push people into feeling insecure for not liking what we like. It in itself would be us reacting the same way they did to us. I think you can seek acceptance all you want, just not in a method that would make us as a whole equally look bad, or lead to the mistreatment of others.

 

I personally am happy with how I am with the hobby. Only my personal inner conflict with the costs or inability to form a picture for the doll has ever bothered me, not the acceptance of others. I only have ABJD right now, but I'm seeking to get back into DD. I am lucky that I have a ability to let comments go in one ear and out the other.

It sounds like you are in a acceptable state with your hobby?

 

And I'm the worst person to probably ask ( cause as I stated earlier I think there are far more important things in life that need this treatment before any hobby I hold. Like, human rights-level of things. And that there are two really hard stigmas that sort of lurk over it, one of them is relevant to all toy-like hobbies. So, I naturally cast aside it because I simply level it so, so low.

I don't know that any hobby is really "universally accepted," but doll collecting is certainly stigmatized in some places. It would be nice to lift that stigma.

 

I've found the most effective option for me is to address the issue head on. When asked about my hobbies, I respond that I collect "giant creepy dolls" in a pretty deadpan/frank manner, as if I were saying "I breathe air" or "I eat food" -- as an unquestionable fact. Obviously I don't find them giant or creepy, but I don't hesitate to describe them that way.

 

Although I'm describing the dolls in negative terms, I always get positive reactions! It immediately makes people curious and interested, but since I've already addressed the fact that they're not socially acceptable, no one seems to feel the need to make negative comments.

My biggest problem with acceptance has been people just simply not knowing what these dolls are. I agree with others, that I don't really want everyone involved with this hobby, but it'd be nice if i could say i collect them without having to get into an explanation that ends with them saying, "i dunno, sounds a little creepy," even though they've never even seen them.

 

If I say I like dolls, they're like oh like Barbies or American Girl? They'll have no idea what BJDs are, and it's hard to explain because there's just so many kinds and styles, and if they went and googled it, what comes up is honestly not the best representations of the hobby.

 

At this point, when people ask me what my hobby is, I say I like to make doll clothes. When they ask what kind of doll, I'll just say that I mostly make clothes for large poseable/customizable fashion dolls. That tends to result in the best reaction, because it is easy for people to understand why it would be fun. I don't get into all the other aspects about customization unless they ask.

 

As for people who can actually see mine in person, I find it matters a lot how they're introduced. I think we've established the 2 factors that creep most people out in this thread and elsewhere:

 

1) Looks too real

2) Looks too sexual/sensual

 

So if I show someone a Dollfie Dream, I start with my Hatsune Miku. It's easy to explain what she is, even to someone who doesn't care about anime/manga. She doesn't have a large chest or anything, and just looks like a cute teenager, and doesn't look remotely real.

 

For my resin BJD's I start with my Volks SD Saki or my Dear SD Nana, both of which just look like pretty little girls with faces that lean more towards anime and less towards realism.

 

For both kinds of dolls, people are usually fascinated about their posing ability and all that and it goes over well and it's easier for them to stomach my other dolls if I choose to show them.

 

I'm a little fortunate in that my mom already collects other kinds of dolls, and my boyfriend loves toys in general and has no qualms about adults collecting nice ones. His mom was a little weirded out by the dolls at first. Particularly since we brought them over to their place to use their photo studio, and my boyfriend was putting so much effort into photographing and posing them. So to her it was like, "Gasp my son is playing with dolls." Then when she saw the photos that were produced, she understood and chilled out, and even started watching and bringing little things to use as props.

 

I think it is probably a little harder to get people to understand if you just like to buy the dolls and dress them. Which is totally fine! ...but a heck of a lot easier to get people to accept if you can tie it into another more conventional hobby like sewing or photography or painting. That is if you give a crap about non-doll people accepting

I had thought of using the line I gave my 12 year old son at first when others ask, "I like giant anime action figures," but that isn't much better as liking anime it also stigmatized around those I know. I can't win worth losing. Oh well, their loss, not mine.

A middle ground would be great, but I think the only way to get there is awareness, that's usually the best method. The more you know, after all.

 

Sorry for my rambling and getting a little off track, I didn't mean to be insulting. I let myself get too firm, and for that I apologize. I just found it offensive, and found myself being defensive to think that we would need to push people into feeling insecure for not liking what we like. It in itself would be us reacting the same way they did to us. I think you can seek acceptance all you want, just not in a method that would make us as a whole equally look bad, or lead to the mistreatment of others.

 

I personally am happy with how I am with the hobby. Only my personal inner conflict with the costs or inability to form a picture for the doll has ever bothered me, not the acceptance of others. I only have ABJD right now, but I'm seeking to get back into DD. I am lucky that I have a ability to let comments go in one ear and out the other.

It sounds like you are in a acceptable state with your hobby?

 

And I'm the worst person to probably ask ( cause as I stated earlier I think there are far more important things in life that need this treatment before any hobby I hold. Like, human rights-level of things. And that there are two really hard stigmas that sort of lurk over it, one of them is relevant to all toy-like hobbies. So, I naturally cast aside it because I simply level it so, so low.

 

Well I can do the trick that make dolls not look like small toys. (See my flickr)

I know a lot of people who knows little about dolls are open to the hobby called "doll photograph".

Even my university's twitter accept it.

I took pictures in parks, gardens even shopping malls.

People who looked around are okay if they are friendly.

I got that elder people are more friendly than the young.

BUT I also keep hiding dolls from my colleagues.

It is too bad even one of them is critical to dolls.

My biggest problem with acceptance has been people just simply not knowing what these dolls are. I agree with others, that I don't really want everyone involved with this hobby, but it'd be nice if i could say i collect them without having to get into an explanation that ends with them saying, "i dunno, sounds a little creepy," even though they've never even seen them.)

 

Um...I think doll photograph could be acceptable with little knowledge.