My first smartdoll! And trouble bonding...

I got my first smartdoll almost a month ago! It was like my personal odyssey to finally have her home! I have Infinity! She is so darn cute! (There are picture of her on Instagram: @tooching.tria.tama) I’m having trouble bonding with her though! It feels like we haven’t “clicked” yet. Has this ever happened with you (and how did you fix it)?

One of the greatest features of vinyl dolls is their incredible durability. They can handle "the rough stuff", so don't let her sit on the shelf, do stuff with her! Move her around your room/apartment. Pose her daily. Change her clothes. Try on a different wig. Take her places with you. Take her to work or shopping or to a restaurant. Take lots of pictures. Take her to the park specifically for a photo shoot. Be prepared to answer questions people might ask about her.

Bonding is a two way street and Infinity is doing as much as she can to be your best doll friend. It's up to you to step it up and interact with her.

Engage!

Definitely what K-2 has said. I’ve bonded most with my first doll, and I take her around the house with me. She keeps me company. Lately she’s been sitting on the pillow next to me while I sleep. I have yet to take her out in public with me, though.

 

Lots of photoshoots and dress up too. Also, yeah, don’t be afraid to get em dirty, you can always clean them.

it has happened to me. unfortunately i wasn’t able to change it, even when i did things that were stated here. i wonder what causes the bonding between a doll and its owner. there have been a couple of my dolls that i couldn’t bond with, and i always wonder what makes the difference.

 

infinity is really cute, and i hope that the advice people gave you can help you bond with her. what do you do with her now? have you done some of the things people said?

Thank you, I’ve done everything listed. I take photos of her, I dress her up, (I even started a smartdoll dress up challenge), I take her on photo walks and to stores. I think having her sleep nearer to me would help, but I have a bunk bed and she sleeps on the desk underneath. I spend almost every second of everyday in her presence. I love her to pieces but we haven’t “emotionally” clicked yet. It may just take time. I think she’d love a leekeworld wig and a dress from volks, so I’m going to start customizing her style soon! Thank you for the advice!

 

@Amber What happened with the dolls you haven’t bonded with? Did you sell them? I only really want one doll so I’m not really a collector...and I don’t want to rid myself of Infinity!

I really recommend changing her. see how others have changed infinity's look

 

swap wigs,

 

I find eyes the most important I have a doll that I did not really bond with until I changed her eyes.

 

most important is giving her the right name, some pop out of the box and say my name is .... other's it can take months I had one that took a year till she had the right name.

having the right wig and eyes can help this process to.

 

sometimes it can be fashion style too, Some of my dolls have refused to wear the clothes I made them because they did not like them ( I sound like a crazy doll lady now ) but they have their own style

 

Just give her time

 

My Symphony still does not have a name! and I have not fully bonded with her either and its been a month too. but shes settling in. I think she has the right eyes but I might switch her wig to the Medium Curl Cocoa.

 

Izumi had her name before I ordered her but it took 3 eye changes before she felt right.

 

I follow you on Instagram @miyukiandizumi, I love your escape story

wow, you do so much with her! that's so great, i'm jealous i don't have as much time right now to do that with my dolls. my dolls are very close to me when i sleep. they're in a curio right next to my bed, less than an arm's length away. so maybe you're right, maybe that could help you!

 

can you tell me what you mean by emotionally clicked? i might feel differently about emotionally clicking than you do, so i am curious as to what it means to you

 

i gave my dolls a very long time to try to bond with them. i tried different styles and stuff, but when it finally came to the point of not working... i did sell them. i tried to make sure i chose people that would love them. one of my dolls went to someone who travels a lot, and she brought her with her on the plane. i'd see pictures of my old doll with her, looking out plane windows. it made me really happy that she went to someone that clearly loved her.

 

i agree with miyuki. i think that when you customize infinity that you will find yourself bonding with her! get something for her from leekeworld and volks. keep trying until you find what suits her. are you a member on den of angels? they have lots of wigs there, if you need to be mindful of the amount of money you spend.

 

none of my dolls (except one) have names right now. i had names for them before, but they weren't right... so it was causing a disconnect. so maybe miyuki is right about that also. is the name infinity her name? or could it be something else?

Thank you all so much! I am currently saving for a leekeworld wig and a special dress from volks. I am also planning on changing her eyes once the color is released. She has a couple of names, I’m still narrowing down from Akira, and Dessie. (Her last name will always be Infinity!) I think her name will be Dessie!

 

@Amber To tell the truth I can’t explain what I mean by “emotionally click” (so sorry! ) I think once I finish her look, decide on a name, and find a way for her to sleep next to me it will work! Thanks!

no worries

 

i really like the name dessie, i think it's cute!

 

please share pics when you are able to buy her new things

Just wondering- is this your first BJD-type doll, or your first non-resin doll? If you are used to resins- it can take a while to get used to the anime-style. I know it did for me- my first Smart Doll was the first anime-style vinyl doll I bought- even though I had been collecting resin BJDs and big Obitsus for ten years. But I love them now (and I now have five....oops).

 

A lot of time looking at other owners pix can help, too.

 

One thing I always do with a new doll is take him/her on a trip with me. That way it's just the two of us away from "normal" life and I can focus and get to know the doll.

 

And just- some dolls are a little shy. It can take a while for them to come out of their shell. And sometimes it's just a matter of the right hair/eyes/outfit, and suddenly they become little people.

 

Good luck! And don't worry, it'll happen.

She is my first bjd type doll ever!

I agree with what others have said about changing her look to make her 'yours'. I had a floating ddh01 head for an entire year before I did anything with it because nothing worked and I came close to selling it until I found the look and he came 'alive'.

But something that can also help IMO is making a photo story.

You don't even have to post it if you don't want to, but it's fun to do and - at least in my case - you end up realizing the dolls 'personality'. In many of the photo stories I have done, including ones I could never be bothered to post, they often turned out different to how I imagined them originally because the dolls 'took control'. (Obviously I'm not saying they literally came to life and ordered me around, but it's more fun to think of it that way) Posing them for each shot I suddenly thought that their reactions should be different to what I originally was going to do because seeing them in that situation hit me with new inspiration, if that makes sense - and it made me like them a lot more.

Maybe something like this will work for you too.

....or maybe she just needs a friend. ;D

 

Of course in the end it might not even matter. You say you love her a lot regardless, so I don't really know what the problem is. 'Bonding' means different things to different people after all. However if you feel something is lacking, it happens all the time, and people often sell their dolls not long after getting them because it just wasnt what they thought or hoped. I'm not saying you have to go that far, just that it wouldn't be unusual, but again, if you really like her, you probably don't need to.

 

EDIT: Looking at your instagram it looks like you've done at least one mini photo story already, so I hope that helped.

"]She is my first bjd type doll ever!

 

Ah! Well- I think maybe you're a little bit "afraid" of her! Just like a human person- sometimes it takes a while to relax around someone new. Maybe you've seen other people's picture stories and it seems like their dolls are more "alive" and you're wondering why your doll isn't.

 

Just give yourself some time, and open yourself up to discovering her personality. Don't try to push it, let it happen naturally. Practice posing her (because posing these dolls can be a bit intimidating at first until you learn how to do it- I would recommend watching some of Danny's videos on the Smart Doll site on how to care for your doll). I also find that my dolls' true personalities come out when I photograph them, so take as many pictures as you can.

 

I think you're fine! You chose a lovely doll with a really sweet personality, so just give her a little time.

I've had bouts of not bonding and almost always, if not always, had to sell (because I could not afford to experiment styles by buying a lot of things for that DD; I also felt so detached that I didn't feel the effort was really worth it). My first DD (and first BJD, like you) wasn't successful for me and I made a post about not bonding with her a few years ago. There are some really in depth responses there as well and maybe it could give you even more insight to bonding.

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=10474

A lot of people say to just change styles etc, but sometimes, it just doesn't work out. And I believe that if it works out, great, but if it doesn't, then it just doesn't and that's alright too.

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In the end, I wish you the absolute best with working things out with your first Smart Doll, Infinity!

It sounds like you are taking good steps to get closer to her though, so keep it up and hopefully it'll all work itself out in the end!

Edited March 21, 2019 by Pickle

Thank you everyone! I thought that I would only be able to bond with Dessie after changing her completely, but today we bonded (in my terms)! I made her pajama onesies, and we did a photo story that is on my Instagram. I am still planning on getting the new wig, eyes, and dress from volks, but we did fine without them! Thanks again!