The Facebook debacle & other issues

If you want a way-too detailed breakdown of what I think about online communication and how we as humans sometimes make a mistake about "this company or person actually did something bad" versus "I want a reason to bag on this company or person, and this feels like a good enough reason", Contrapoints did a whopping 1 hour and 48 minute video that touches on some things I'd thought of and many things I hadn't.  That's a lot for me to ask as someone who just start posting here, but Contrapoints is gorgeous and her videos are amazing if you've never watched them so I'll post it anyway:
 

I was going to post a TL;DR of this video but I don't even think that's possible, the thumbnail of her enchanting face will be it. 

At this point, I'm just going to say this and let it be, because...I get the sense that this is starting to get unproductive and off topic.

This thread, for me anyway, is a place where I can express concerns about DC and Smart Doll brand without being strung up by his loyal devotees. I was very happy to find this place and to know that others had similar concerns. I know that this place also stands as a resource for prospective customers to make purchasing decisions that best suit them. Places like this are needed and I hope that it continues to be a place to share information that can be helpful to others. 

Truly, there is a point where those who are determined to think one way will never be open to accepting others' experiences as 'legitimate,' and will carry on making excuses to refute anything brought to attention. I think this had been made clear. 

This thread does in fact serve a purpose for allowing those who have been wronged, been bullied, been smeared by a so-called businessman, to present their frustrations in an understanding environment without being shot down or chastised for 'overreacting,' or getting the CCP-style management of delete, bury, punish, smear publicly. 

25 minutes ago, Ageha said:

This thread does in fact serve a purpose for allowing those who have been wronged, been bullied, been smeared by a so-called businessman, to present their frustrations in an understanding environment without being shot down or chastised for 'overreacting,' or getting the CCP-style management of delete, bury, punish, smear publicly. 

Yeah, it feels way too much of a shoot first and ask questions later, with the banning and such.
But it pays (in dolls and items) to be a loyalist...

2 hours ago, youdawurst said:

There's still levels to this stuff. You can rant on your own personal Facebook page, or even on your own Youtube or twitter account, that's different from going to a Facebook page dedicated to the game/product or designer-run forum and ranting there because you lost. Yeah not everyone who does that is a child but they sure are acting like children when they do that, and I certainly don't look at someone behaving badly online as a model of behavior. Besides, there's a difference when I see an Angry Video Game Person on Youtube yelling about a "Triple A" game because it has gambling mechanics versus seeing a Karen going on a locally owned restaurant's Facebook page and yelling that they didn't serve her enough breadsticks.  First because the games industry is now more lucrative than the films industry while locally owned restaurants are constantly on the verge of failing, and second because the skinner boxes employed by the games industry are inherently unethical while breadsticks are a non-issue.  Like I said, levels. I, too, had to learn that there are OK ways to treat people and not OK ways to treat people, and even though it's possible to dial up whoever you want on the internet and call them the worst name you can think of maybe to be a complete human being you should try not to. That's not to say you can't use online support and can't rant online, just don't pick small business owners or other distant strangers as your punching bags. 

I don't know how to say this without sounding aggressive so I'll just say it. Please note that it's not the intention. I just want to point this out and my English only goes so far... 

If customers criticising a brand in a public space dedicated to the brand is inappropriate, mean and rude, why is it okay for Danny to single out customers on his very large public platform and to encourage his followers to bully them? How is it when a single person with no "power" whatsoever does much less they deserve to be banned and attacked, but when it's Danny, it's all good and dandy and completely justified in your eyes? 

Please hold him to the same standards you hold us to, and to the same standards he claims to hold himself to. 

4 hours ago, youdawurst said:

Besides, there's a difference when I see an Angry Video Game Person on Youtube yelling about a "Triple A" game because it has gambling mechanics versus seeing a Karen going on a locally owned restaurant's Facebook page and yelling that they didn't serve her enough breadsticks.

The problem here is that you’re drawing distinctions that are very black and white, but in reality there are shades of grey in-between those things. The small business owner whose personal conduct towards people is poor by the standard of accepted social norms isn’t in the same position as an otherwise congenial business owner being criticized because they put out 10 breadsticks in front of a jerk who wanted 20. 

I think what we are talking about here is more along the lines of the customer asking for more breadsticks and getting told “please leave,” then the following day they wake up to find their Facebook PMs and email full of angry rants on the part of the restaurant owner calling them an awful person for asking their staff to put out more breadsticks. In that circumstance I’m going to conclude, reasonably imo, that the restaurant owner has a problem and not the customer, even if I might personally see eating 20 breadsticks as glutinous. 
 

For the record, I can scarf down the bread they serve in good Italian restaurants by the basketful, so I’m not about to accuse anyone of gluttony. XD

7 hours ago, youdawurst said:

Yeah not everyone who does that is a child but they sure are acting like children when they do that

I’m sorry, what you’ve said here is really not okay. What you’ve done here is basically call an autistic person childish for having a meltdown, which as an autistic person myself I find pretty hurtful.

Autistic meltdowns aren’t “childish”. I don’t think I should have to explain why calling someone who is most likely infantilised on a regular basis childish isn’t okay. I am sick and tired of having to read stuff like this day after day. I am sick and tired of being made to feel bad for being overwhelmed when something doesn’t go how I expect, or if I get overstimulated or anything else that could end up causing a meltdown. I really feel for the person who originally had the arm issue, sure they might have said some mean things about Smart Doll and Danny is allowed to feel hurt by that, but that doesn’t give him the right to put a ableist, snarky, patronising “buyer beware” on the male doll’s product page. It especially leaves a bad taste in my mouth when he creates things like the prosthetic leg, the ostomy bag, and the insulin pump. Especially with the pump, since I’m also diabetic - seeing that made me real uncomfortable after reading about how he handed the arm situation. I think I can speak for other disabled members of the forum here when I say that they’ve felt hurt and/or made uncomfortable by Danny’s actions. Where is our apology? An actual apology too, not accompanied by any weird metaphors or rants about how the customer isn’t always right or something.

Sorry if I come off a bit confrontational, but I’m not going to let that sort of language go.

I've been a long time lurker on this post, I'm also a lover of Smart Dolls I own many!

I never thought I'd be posting here, but as someone who is also on the autistic spectrum, as I believe "Alya" stated they was, (though perhaps unnecessary) I feel the need to back them and state its important to recognize that they also apologized for their actions.

I won't speak for them as I don't know them, but I will speak for my self a person who has had many unwarranted and illogical meltdowns. It's important to understand someone on the spectrum may have a response that isn't always justified when they feel pressured. And it's not until the dust settles that you look back and wonder was that necessary.

like Yumeiro mentioned we are all different in the way we handle situations. I'm not saying Alya was in the right, they themselves perhaps knew in time they could've handled the situation different. Which in terms (I assume) may be the reason for their subsequent apology.

Quote

There's still levels to this stuff. You can rant on your own personal Facebook page, or even on your own Youtube or twitter account, that's different from going to a Facebook page dedicated to the game/product or designer-run forum and ranting there because you lost.

 

Edited December 7, 2021 by Gummibear

29 minutes ago, hellFlower said:

I think I can speak for other disabled members of the forum here when I say that they’ve felt hurt and/or made uncomfortable by Danny’s actions.

I think that’s a key point. I don’t always see things the same way, but I do try to keep in mind that a comment that doesn’t look hurtful to me can be perceived quite differently by someone whose situation is different from mine. 

9 hours ago, youdawurst said:

Besides, there's a difference when I see an Angry Video Game Person on Youtube yelling about a "Triple A" game because it has gambling mechanics versus seeing a Karen going on a locally owned restaurant's Facebook page and yelling that they didn't serve her enough breadsticks.  First because the games industry is now more lucrative than the films industry while locally owned restaurants are constantly on the verge of failing, and second because the skinner boxes employed by the games industry are inherently unethical while breadsticks are a non-issue.

So, okay, imagine the videogame with mtx lootboxes had people link their Facebook, YouTube, insta, or twitter accounts to it. And then started giving out better odds of rare drops to people the programmers had identified as influencers.

...

That's how buying a Smart Doll pebble works.

(Besides if we're talking games, better comparison would be with someone like the quartering, as the first brings Stephanie Sterling to mind haha. If you watch breadtube beyond Contrapoints then chances are you'll have seen people dunk on the quartering. He's one of those "omg they put women in my ghostbusters and star wars/why did they make she-ra's boobs small" complainers.)

Anyway, I dunno where envy comes into it? It's a bit reductive to deflect criticism with "you jelly" (I know there's more to the video than that, but it's been a long time and I've not had chance to re-re-watch it). I kinda don't wanna go into the reason (again) why I actually have a lot of sympathy for Danny. That's why I want things to be better and know he has great capacity to do good. I don't really think that falls under the umbrella of envy. Actually iirc is there an example in the Envy video of GiGi Gorgeous vs Jeffrey Starr doing the same concept (sorry if I've spelled names wrong), but one being less envied because they were more relatable? That. [Edit: or was that in Opulence? I've watched too much Contrapoints argh] Plus, okay I've watched the first 5 minutes again and no one wants Smart Doll to go down. Literally the opposite! Because if the bad times lead to the end of Smart Doll, then there's no more for us. So improving and allowing a healthy community are an option for sustainability. Elsewise Danny is just burning through people until there'll be none left.

Smart Doll has a death by a thousand cuts effect on some people. My friend always says he doesn't know how I keep going with these dolls, 'cos he would have tapped out ages ago. 🤣 I have a very high tolerance I guess hahaha! But this thread is dedicated to those cuts and the people who feel them. There's other threads to take part in if you just want the positive. Check out the pretty photos and stuff people have made! There's some cool creative things posted on this forum, so go enjoy that instead.

Edited December 7, 2021 by Katsudon

1 hour ago, Katsudon said:

Anyway, I dunno where envy comes into it? It's a bit reductive to deflect criticism with "you jelly"

“People just spread these rumors because they’re jealous of how successful I am.” It’s a common accusation used by celebrity sex predators to gaslight their victims when they speak out.

Yes sometimes people say negative things out of jealously, and jealously can certainly masquerade as righteous indignation, but if I hear someone who is accused of wronging trying to dismiss their accusers by saying they’re just jealous, it sets off all kinds of warning bells. That’s the sort of claim a person who can’t use truth as a defense makes. 

10 hours ago, hellFlower said:

... It especially leaves a bad taste in my mouth when he creates things like the prosthetic leg, the ostomy bag, and the insulin pump. Especially with the pump, since I’m also diabetic...

 

Indeed.. i've been stricken with an ostomy myself since 2003, i'm also moderately diabetic.

honestly, i could never even begin to imagine ever desiring to have my $600.00+ 1/3 Dream Waifu suffering either of the same afflictions.

To Each their Own, of course, however, but do know that at least some of us "Differently Abled" out there

would honestly prefer to keep our afflictions quite over there as much as possible, thank you, out of sight, and out of mind...

Edited December 7, 2021 by Tasuke

& so it begins..    i kinda thought the insulin pump thing was a bit much. idk   i'd not wish something like diabete's on anyone, much less my sweet smartie boi's 

To accessorize certain conditions (especially when he has stated that they aren't for you if you lack hand strength, but missing an arm is ok?), is a bit...
But at least isn't mainly aimed at kids, who are more in need of coming to terms with their condition, or to normalize it? (at least it's free then. but I wonder what sort of proof he demands...)

Edited December 7, 2021 by Yumeiro

2 hours ago, Yumeiro said:

To accessorize certain conditions (especially when he has stated that they aren't for you if you lack hand strength, but missing an arm is ok?), is a bit...
But at least isn't mainly aimed at kids, who are more in need of coming to terms with their condition, or to normalize it? (at least it's free then. but I wonder what sort of proof he demands...)

One would hope people can just tell him. Pretty sure he would run afoul of HIPAA in the US if he was collecting any sort of medical info from people. 

3 hours ago, BeyondTime said:

One would hope people can just tell him. Pretty sure he would run afoul of HIPAA in the US if he was collecting any sort of medical info from people. 

HIPAA?

1 hour ago, DollyDearest said:

HIPAA

It’s a law that establishes a set of standards to prevent heath information from being released without the consent of the individual. If you track and store such data you have to meet those standards. 

It would probably only apply if Danny was asking for proof of disability. An email saying “I’m missing a limb” probably wouldn’t be an issue. 

1 hour ago, BeyondTime said:

It’s a law that establishes a set of standards to prevent heath information from being released without the consent of the individual. If you track and store such data you have to meet those standards. 

It would probably only apply if Danny was asking for proof of disability. An email saying “I’m missing a limb” probably wouldn’t be an issue. 

oh  okays thanks.   i do believe he stated ya have to have proof of said disability        

Hopefully it's just photographic proof that's needed. Please, no one send medical records in exchange for free stuff!

Although it's just occurred to me that people with birthmarks or vitiligo are shit out of luck. 😆 No free stuff for you - you're paying full price! Yes, I know the dolls were made before Danny's policy of free medical bits and pieces, but y'know. (No I don't expect him to give away whole dolls)

He should just release the 3D print files for free then anyone can have one if they choose instead of making an order with him.

10 hours ago, Katsudon said:

Hopefully it's just photographic proof that's needed. Please, no one send medical records in exchange for free stuff!

Although it's just occurred to me that people with birthmarks or vitiligo are shit out of luck. 😆 No free stuff for you - you're paying full price! Yes, I know the dolls were made before Danny's policy of free medical bits and pieces, but y'know. (No I don't expect him to give away whole dolls)

Honestly that's still pretty sus that you would need to send a photo of yourself to a stranger like that. And it seems like if he's really trying to do all this stuff for the disabled community he wouldn't be trying to be a weird gatekeeper. Like, who in the world would fake having an ostomy to get a free ostomy bag for their doll?

Edited December 8, 2021 by polarbearqueen
Added second and third sentences

To be fair, it's just conjecture on my part that he might want a photo... but either way, even if one has to go through explaining a medical condition or disability, that in itself is kinda a downer for some*. So far Danny hasn't made anything that matches any of my medical stuff (Gabapentin for Smart Dolls when! 🤣) so I've not had to go through the freebie system.

*Me. I really hate confronting my disability urgh.

On 12/7/2021 at 1:16 PM, BeyondTime said:

Pretty sure he would run afoul of HIPAA in the US if he was collecting any sort of medical info from people. 

HIPAA wouldn't apply because it's impossible to volunteer your own medical information without your permission, and also Danny is not a healthcare provider.

7 hours ago, Moonsour said:

HIPAA wouldn't apply because it's impossible to volunteer your own medical information without your permission, and also Danny is not a healthcare provider.

I was thinking more if Danny was collecting and storing formal proof that someone has a specific medical condition.

Just so it’s clear, my point was I doubt he is. 

Edit: Had a chance to go back and check. You are correct that he’d have to be a provider for that law to apply, so if you did provide confidential medical information to him HIPAA wouldn’t protect you.

4 hours ago, BeyondTime said:

I was thinking more if Danny was collecting and storing formal proof that someone has a specific medical condition.

Just so it’s clear, my point was I doubt he is. 

okay i re- read the blurb in insulin pump section on smartiedoll.jp    and it says something about leavin a diabete's story in the note w/ order.