Dollfie veterans, lend me your aid!! (kinda long)

Hello! I'm new around here, but you can call me Anna. So I've been saving for a dollfie dream since 7th Grade. (Wow young, I know...) Anyways, I've finally acbleepulated enough for a dollfie dream. I gave it to my big brother who would order it for me, since I don't have a paypal/credit card. I spent it all on the Saber Alter pre-order, and left enough for some clothes. Here is where it gets a little sticky...My parents, after finding out about my little "quest" told me not to buy one. I was extremely disappointed, but kept saving. I'm a freshman in high school now. I was so ballsy, but as June gets closer and closer, I am becoming more and more nervous. I know I'll be in trouble, so I'm trying to lighten it up by making straight A's. I am (not to brag) a fairly good student, on straight A honors,and make good test scores. I know this won't help much, but.

 

ANYWAYS- I need all of your help. I need advice on how to lighten their anger, if I should tell them now or wait, and if any of you are parents to disobedient teens like me..how would you react? I've thought of a plan of making a fake listing and listing the price considerably lower than her original price, but I've lied to my parents enough, don't you think? I don't ask for too much (I don't even have a cell phone...), but I know they might take it away and make me give it to my 3 year old cousin or something, or maybe even break it in rage ><

 

EDIT:

Sorry, guys..I left why they dislike it out.

They are against this because of how much of a waste they think it is. They were poor growing up, and they are against wasting money. The only times they really "splurge" are when it benefits others, like during Christmas, birthdays, etc... It also might be because they see this as a selfish buy.

 

Sorry for the longish block of text...if you've read through this, thanks..

Edited January 12, 2012 by Guest

There's one key piece of information that you left out: why do they not want you to buy one? Is it that they think it's a waste of money? Or that they think you'll end up losing it? Or was one of your parents traumatized by a ventriloquist's dummy at an early age? Hard to counter their arguments when we don't know what they are.

This is a bit tricky. When you tell them, remind them that you saved and spent your own money on it, and that it means a lot to you. And perhaps even do some chores around the house to make it up.

 

Also it's probably best to tell them before it arrives, to let it sink in a bit.

 

Anyways, welcome to the fourm!

I do agree that knowing some of the objections will help us brainstorm what to counter them with.

 

However, I can at least give some advice about how to explain why you wanted one in the first place. Keeping your grades high is a good idea, so then you can mention that after all that hard work you would like something fun to balance it out. Do point out that they're expensive because they're adult collector's items with impressive engineering and quality control. (In fact, since seeing Volks' clothing for DDs in person, both my grandmother and I have bemoaned that we wish human clothes were made even half that well!) Maybe dig up some of the photos of the internal skeleton, I suppose of the DDS one since it's more closely related to Saber Alter's DDIII body than the older DDII, which should help emphasize the complexity of engineering involved.

 

I also would suggest pointing out that this particular hobby sort of ends up being the intersection of multiple hobbies, all pulled together with one focus, and then listing some of the ones you're interested in. Photography is a big one for many of us, and sewing can be too. Other people have their dolls pull double duty as drawing aids. Via the photostories, there's also a storytelling element as well, which can also encompass some of the finer points of visual storytelling such as posing and continuity. If you have interest in sculpting or 3D modeling, making miniatures for props for them is another facet. And I'd check if there are doll meets in your area. This will not only show that you don't intend to end up a hermit only interacting with your doll, but should provide a chance to demonstrate that doll owners aren't automatically either perverts or balls of social anxiety.

 

It may also be worth it to mention how long you've been saving, because by extension you've probably been cutting way back on the fun stuff your peers take for granted. While they may feel spending money on a doll is frivolous, so is spending money on multiple purses, or shoes, or car customizations, or rock concerts, or any of the things "normal" people don't bat an eye at. It takes a lot of willpower and money management to save for something for that long, which shows not only that you can manage your money carefully but also that after all this time you still wanted this doll, so by extension you're really sure this is what you want to spend your money on rather than an insane impulse buy.

I need advice on how to lighten their anger, if I should tell them now or wait, and if any of you are parents to disobedient teens like me..how would you react?

 

I am guessing that they don't know how much DDs cost. Why are you not allowed to buy one? My parents are kind of open about me buying what I want with my own money… as long as it isn' too expensive -cough-. I am in University now but if I was still in high school they would definitely beat me up T^T. Anyways, back to your question. I would normally wait for the package to arrive before doing anything. If I was a parent? Well, they kind of already spent the money and since it's their own I can't really do anything except for giving them a lecture. I would also stop giving them allowance, unless they work for it of course.

 

I've thought of a plan of making a fake listing and listing the price considerably lower than her original price, but I've lied to my parents enough, don't you think?

 

This is a bad idea. If they were to receive the package from the postman they would see the price anyways since VOLKS list the price on their custom statements.

 

I don't ask for too much (I don't even have a cell phone...), but I know they might take it away and make me give it to my 3 year old cousin or something, or maybe even break it in rage ><

 

This kind of ties into the second question. They would probably take it away from you but what can they do with it if they knew it was almost/ over $1000? I think you should tell them the real cost. Giving the doll to your 3 year old cousin sounds unlikely since she is so expensive. Breaking it would be unlikely too… unless they have anger management problems.

 

For now, I would say wait. There is little they can do once Saber actually arrives. Or you can do what Nightmare said and tell them now to lighten up the news. What are your parents personalities? Just be truthful from here on out and try your best to explain to them.

 

It may also be worth it to mention how long you've been saving, because by extension you've probably been cutting way back on the fun stuff your peers take for granted. While they may feel spending money on a doll is frivolous, so is spending money on multiple purses, or shoes, or car customizations, or rock concerts, or any of the things "normal" people don't bat an eye at. It takes a lot of willpower and money management to save for something for that long, which shows not only that you can manage your money carefully but also that after all this time you still wanted this doll, so by extension you're really sure this is what you want to spend your money on rather than an insane impulse buy.

 

I totally agree with Poofie on this.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Guest

It's interesting when the younger collectors pop up ^_^

 

I'm really excited that you were able to preorder Saber Alter version 2 when she was available! That's some really fantastic timing with your long-term savings plan!!!!

 

Parents don't always understand their kids, I think mine still don't understand me but they appreciate the facets of my hobbies and are open minded. I don't know the reasons why your parents are objecting to a Dollfie Dream, especially if they don't know the cost but I'll chip in my two cents on the situation.

 

You've been saving this money and since it's your money and you're a young adult it's at your discretion how you spend it. You should be honest with how much she cost you and also how long you've been saving - lying about it is definitely a bad idea, all my alarm bells went off in my head when I read that part of your post!

 

You should try to educate your parents so they can understand why you're interested in Dollfie Dream and what kind of community comes along with it. Trying to get them interested in your interests should open their minds to your interests. It shows you've done some solid research and have premeditated this decision!

 

Really you should try to find out why your parents are so against this - it could really lend us some insight into what's going on and why there's this conflict. They must have a reason for being so against it!

There's one key piece of information that you left out: why do they not want you to buy one? Is it that they think it's a waste of money? Or that they think you'll end up losing it? Or was one of your parents traumatized by a ventriloquist's dummy at an early age? Hard to counter their arguments when we don't know what they are.

 

It's because they think it's a tremendous waste of money (lol at the last one, though)

Like, when they heard about it, they were all "Can't you just buy some barbie for five bucks?"

Don't get me wrong, they're not cheap, and we aren't poor. We're about middle class. I think it stems from their childhood, though. They were born poor in the Philippines, had to work hard for everything, and really only spend large amounts of money for things they feel are practical..dollfies aren't on their list.

I read your posts and I take it to heart. They aren't quite sure on how much it costs, but they are aware that it runs up to the hundreds ($500-$600). They also have this "it's not your money" mentality, because I don't work yet. Thanks for the heads up about the postman thing. I'm really considering just coming clean right before it arrives.

I do agree that knowing some of the objections will help us brainstorm what to counter them with.

 

However, I can at least give some advice about how to explain why you wanted one in the first place. Keeping your grades high is a good idea, so then you can mention that after all that hard work you would like something fun to balance it out. Do point out that they're expensive because they're adult collector's items with impressive engineering and quality control. (In fact, since seeing Volks' clothing for DDs in person, both my grandmother and I have bemoaned that we wish human clothes were made even half that well!) Maybe dig up some of the photos of the internal skeleton, I suppose of the DDS one since it's more closely related to Saber Alter's DDIII body than the older DDII, which should help emphasize the complexity of engineering involved.

 

I also would suggest pointing out that this particular hobby sort of ends up being the intersection of multiple hobbies, all pulled together with one focus, and then listing some of the ones you're interested in. Photography is a big one for many of us, and sewing can be too. Other people have their dolls pull double duty as drawing aids. Via the photostories, there's also a storytelling element as well, which can also encompass some of the finer points of visual storytelling such as posing and continuity. If you have interest in sculpting or 3D modeling, making miniatures for props for them is another facet. And I'd check if there are doll meets in your area. This will not only show that you don't intend to end up a hermit only interacting with your doll, but should provide a chance to demonstrate that doll owners aren't automatically either perverts or balls of social anxiety.

 

It may also be worth it to mention how long you've been saving, because by extension you've probably been cutting way back on the fun stuff your peers take for granted. While they may feel spending money on a doll is frivolous, so is spending money on multiple purses, or shoes, or car customizations, or rock concerts, or any of the things "normal" people don't bat an eye at. It takes a lot of willpower and money management to save for something for that long, which shows not only that you can manage your money carefully but also that after all this time you still wanted this doll, so by extension you're really sure this is what you want to spend your money on rather than an insane impulse buy.

 

Again, sorry about leaving the objections part out ^^;;

 

Well, they think it's useless..

I have been cutting back on the "fun stuff"

I am relatively careful with money, and I hardly go to/throw parties. Seriously, I haven't had a birthday party in years and the only thing I regularly buy with my own funds are my little ponies (...that may not help my situation..) and art supplies. I am convinced that they chalk this up to me being more withdrawn than most teenagers. I don't have a facebook, I loathe school dances, and over all I am not a social kid. (I swear I don't smell bad or have excessive acne, I just prefer having a small circle of friends or being alone and reading/drawing) So that argument may be thrown out...

 

The comparison to cars and etc.. is really nice, actually! They just upgraded like, all of the TVs to new LCD/whatever screens. I mean, I know it's different because they worked hard for those things, but..still?

 

I'm rambling...thanks for the suggestions!

Think if you explain to them that you have a geniuine interest in Dollfie Dreams and that it makes you happy they will understand. Plus like you said you been saving you money for years and stuck towards your goal. Doesn't sound like you get into trouble or anything. And a lot of limited Dollfie dreams to up in value in time. So really its also like an investment. So not really a waste of money. In fact it's probably better to buy a DD over a Tv lol

Think if you explain to them that you have a geniuine interest in Dollfie Dreams and that it makes you happy they will understand. Plus like you said you been saving you money for years and stuck towards your goal. Doesn't sound like you get into trouble or anything. And a lot of limited Dollfie dreams to up in value in time. So really its also like an investment. So not really a waste of money. In fact it's probably better to buy a DD over a Tv lol

 

Buying DD's is way better of an investment than buying a TV if you look at resale values! XD

Hello my fair lady~ Ughh... you are in a pretty sticky situation, . I kid!

 

I'm going to be very straight-forward with you, so don't take it to heart.

 

First of all...

I've thought of a plan of making a fake listing and listing the price considerably lower than her original price, but I've lied to my parents enough, don't you think?

No lying. It'd distort your body language and defeat the purpose of your goal! You'll want to come out as sincere and credible as you can be. In other words, just tell it like it is.

 

I need advice on... , if I should tell them now or wait?

Well, if you feel like your parents might destroy the doll, then it's best to tell them before you receive the doll. Personally, I doubt that the previous condition holds true; most parents (99% ~ ALL) love their children and respect their wishes. If you feel the same way, then you could break the ice any time you want. On the other hand - if the situation of the household is in a bad condition, then I suggest that you wait until things cool down.

 

It seems one of your concerns falls on the price of the brand. Yes, as Poofiemus suggested, the Dollfie Dream® line was probably meant for adult consumers (hence, the high price). However! This doesn't mean that minors can't "adopt" their own Dollfie Dream®! And, nor does it translate into you not being allowed to purchase a Dollfie Dream®! By the way, you did a fantastic job saving up for your dream doll! Saving money is a skill! I praise you! If you want the things that you like, you would have to save. I have no worry here, because you have already proven your ability to save.

 

Regarding after-market prices, and note this down, the demand is favorable when compared to the supply. From those of us that have watched the after-market prices of various limited edition Dollfie Dream®, we all know from observation that the price go up. This is essential because you'll need this piece of observation to help you convince your father. In essence, tell him that although the price that you paid was high, you'd be able to sell it in the after-market for a much higher return than what you paid for. This will help your father understand that your DD is an investment. Even if he doesn't sees it as an investment for the soul, your soul (no, silly, dolls don't steal soul), he would see it as a monetary investment.

 

In your mother's case, you would have to apologize and tell her what you did. And then, I stress this - tell her how much the "doll" means to you and that you have been saving up for it since middle school.

 

When talking to both your mother and father, just be yourself. The words will come out naturally. Who knows, maybe your mother may start sewing clothes for your DD, and your father may start bringing doll-related things home. You'll be surprised at how much your parents actually care about you!

Hi Anna!

 

Everyone here has already given great advice but I thought I'd put in my one piece too since my situation was kind of similar to yours since my mom was pretty 'meh' in the beginning

 

First of all, I think you should be really proud of saving up your money to purchase Saber Alter! I actually think having a nice long talk with your parents about DDs is a good idea. As mentioned, you should really stress to your parents that you are using your own money for this purchase and that you have thought about it for a very long time. Also, when my mom used to get annoyed by my purchases of PVCs, I would tell her that I never go out and 'waste' money on clothes and make-up and god forbid, drugs. In fact, you are probably spending your money 'wisely' per se because she's going to be your lifelong companion

 

Also as mentioned, you can stress that she's likely going to go up in value or you can at least get back what you get on her. That's actually how I won over my mom! I told her about Yuki, Rina, Sasara and all those expensive molds and how much they gone up in value and she even told me I should have bought them!

 

And this is kind of out there, but perhaps you can look into getting a part time/summer job? I bought Saber Extra with my job money and getting a job means they can't really nag you about buying something 'useless' since you used what you earned and you can also spoil your Alter like crazy !

 

Good luck with everything! I'm sure your parents will turn a new leaf in no time

So many of the answers here are great. I'm not sure if this has been said, but I'll say it anyway.

 

I'd explain to them at a Dollfie Dream is also an investment. In time that doll you bought could be worth a LOT more money someday. I'd explain to them that you're interested in Dollfie Dreams not only because you like them, but because they're a great thing to collect. The value on limited DDs pretty much always goes up. As long as you take good care of your girl it'll be worth some money someday. I'd show them examples of dolls going up in price. There is plenty of proof of this all over the internet.

 

If for any reason; saying that this is an investment as well as a hobby might sway their opinions.

I feel your pain. That's how my Dad felt about dolls. The only way I could prove to him it wasn't entirely stupid was by convincing him of their value.

 

The problem there, though, is that once your parents find out how much they're worth, that's when the nagging begins to sell it... because they want you to make that profit and not keep some stupid doll.

 

I always stalled by saying, "No, the market isn't right at the moment, it's too saturated, and you want to sell during tax season" ... that usually bought me enough time that they would forget about it.

 

The only thing that has stopped my parents from nagging me is the fact that I'm now an adult with a job, and paying my own way. They have no say in my financial matters. Oh sure, when they see me with a doll they ask, "Oh, is that one you're going to sell or keep?" ... and my Mom has even made some money herself making doll clothing and quilts and selling them.

 

My point is, you just might not win this battle... but don't be too upset at your parents about it (unless they really do something stupid like ruin the doll, or give it away, or sell it off way too cheap so you don't even get your money back).

These dolls aren't going anywhere, and if, by any chance, you lose this one because of your parents, you will always have an opportunity in the future to buy one again. It may cost a fortune... but... if it's something you really want, rebuy it when your parents have NO say in your finances.

 

You could always tell them it's your early graduation present to yourself, because you know that for the next 4-6 years, you're going to have to buckle down, save every penny and work *really* hard in college. XD

Hello, I was just wondering if you told your parents? I am not a dollfie vet, but I do come from a Filipino family and wanted to wish you good luck. My dad would be hard to sell, but my mom always felt it was okay to treat yourself. I live on my own now and don't worry much about what they think is acceptable. In the end, if you are happy, that is all that matters, like picking a boyfriend.

I understand where you're coming from, and I've been in this situation, so did some of my friends.

but because we were in college when we start collecting blythes, SDs and dollfies, most of us no longer live with our parents. when they do check up though, the dolls are well hidden. one of my friends even schedule to hide it in one of our homes if her mother came because she rented a room, not an apartment or a whole house like some of us. bear in mind we were in our early 20s.

it took a close friend of mine 3-4 years to reveal to her parents. it took me after two years i think. back then we were in our country, and this kind of hobby does not sit well with conventional asian families. but so does being a designer, animator and filmmaker, like most of us are.

i am not asking you to lie to your parents, but sometimes the time will come for you to know what you should do. its even far more stressful for you to keep her in the same house, i mean when are you going to play with her, at night? but im sure, if this is what you choose to do, you will find a good hiding place. and it seems like your brother supports you in this, so he can either back you up or help you. im sure it means you have to owe him favors lol.

I guess you can say I got lucky because after my brother's death, my mom is a little not alright and became more mellow. I'm not saying lucky in part where she's not alright. Although it was weird for her at first and stare at the dolls trying to find their charm or whatever. because traditionally girls my age at that time either should contribute to family by working as lawyer / nurse / doctors / accountants and what have yous or married. She didnt want to have friction with me anymore so she accepted them. It's not like I'm doing drugs or wasting money drinking (that i do now, im 30, but not drugs ever ^0^)

speaking of rebellious teens, I don't have good relationship with my family, because i like to do stuff like this. they are very strict, and for my parents, conventional. if my mom were still like before she will taunt me and made fun of me I kid you not. i've been in military school and was sent away after i was accused of drugs even though my tests came out clean! sorry for tmi, i guess all im trying to say, i know what you're saying. and there are parents like that.

and since you're very young, and the way you describe your family, i feel if they find out they would probably deem you as irresponsible with money, and depends on how strict your parents are, they will probably look over how you spend over the years. (from experience).

imagine the conversation " we had to take close watch on what [your name] spending since when shes in high school because can you imagine, she spent [amount] on a doll?? We don't understand, she got straight A's and smart too, but what common sense of spending that amount of money on a toy?"

so you might want to consider that, not to scare you. It's the same kind of parents who would question buying branded items, when clothes are just clothes, or why buy a baby tee when a normal size tee can fit you longer over the years lol.

sorry that this is very long as well! whatever decision you make, or have made, godspeed.

Good luck with this.

 

Got my Erika a year ago, my mum new before hand and she has always never really minded what i do etc.

 

My dad and my sister found out when i had ordered her.

 

My dad was like huh.... and my sister thought i had suddenly become gay.

 

No one bats an eyelid when i bring her downstairs for photos etc.

 

Still my extended family don't know about her yet.

My mother doesn't have a lot of money, but I remember my American Girl phase, and now my dollfie phase, and she still worked really hard with my father (they're separated) to get me the doll. When I asked her why she said it was worth it to see my face light up as I opened the box. Maybe your parents just don't understand how much you love your doll.

 

PS: Also, it's a good thing that Volks doesn't except returns