Dollfies count as family members :D

Hi everyone! I'm in the process of getting my first DD and I've been feeling so emotional about preparing for her arrival that I wanted to tell you all! I consider her a new addition to our family (with me and my bf :D) and I'm so excited about giving her a birthday, celebrating life with her, taking her on photoshoots and maybe to hangouts with my friends! I'm going on a weekend trip hopefully next month with my friends and one of them said I can bring my DD with me if she arrives on time by then! 

I made this thread to gush about how bonded I already feel with her - and I haven't even seen her in person yet! I was hoping to hear about how you guys feel emotionally towards your DDs . 

Edited June 13, 2021 by pinkseifuku

What DD are you getting?

I’m wondering if your dollfie is rem or or another character from rezero since your profile picture is rem from rezero.

Even before I got her as a DD, I always thought of Miku as my muse, but now she's more like a co-worker, although I suspect she thinks of herself as more like my boss.

5 hours ago, AliensOfGold said:

What DD are you getting?

 

5 hours ago, Mars said:

I’m wondering if your dollfie is rem or or another character from rezero since your profile picture is rem from rezero.

Im getting a custom DD that I'm going to dress up to cosplay different characters! I already got an Emilia and Rem/Ram outfit for her :D. 

My dolls probably should be a part of the family after all.

 

I cook their food, I clean their house, I buy their clothes, and this is how they pay me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds. HA!

 

Seriously though I know people are really connected to their dolls that way by considering them their daughter(s) but I’ve never really felt that kind of connection myself. I like to buy them things to dress them up and build things for them and I’m always taking care of them...🤔

@AliensOfGold I've always found this to be super cringe-worthy, to be honest. Seeing people refer to their dolls as 'daughters' is...really weird and uncomfortable, especially when you see someone buying a new doll refer to it as 'adopting a daughter'. No, stop. They are things. Pretty things, but still things. Not children.

Edited June 14, 2021 by Selenae

When getting dolls second hand I like to say I’m adopting them, since I’m giving them a new home.

@Selenae Yes exactly. If my dolls are my daughters then I'm a really creepy and abusive "father" because I force them to wear clothes they probably don't want to, I'm forever leaving them standing around naked for weeks on end because I'm too lazy to dress them, and I'm always leaving their heads off for whatever reason.

2B has her head off right now sitting in her lap and has been for almost a month because I haven't had time to pose them.

In Japanese doll collecting circles, they would call you a "wet" type of collector.  That means that you form an emotional bond with your dolls, and have some kind of special feelings toward them.  It could be family love, romantic love, friendship, etc.  "Wet" type collectors would be less likely to want to sell their dolls because of this special emotional bond they share with them.

On the other side would be "dry" collectors, who appreciate the doll's beauty, enjoy dressing them, designing things for them or shopping for them, taking and sharing pictures of them, but have no sense of emotional connection with their dolls.  There are plenty of people in both camps, so no matter which you fall into, you're not alone!

I'm finally feeling what a lot of people call a "bond" with my current dolls (well, doll and floating head) and I luv it.
I took one to visit my friend who also loves dolls when they were having a bad day, and lemme tell you, driving with an adorable MDD in the passenger seat is delightful lol. 

I've gone through..maybe 7 dolls in the past, that I just never connected with or felt I bought for reasons that weren't genuine to me. Finding a doll I finally connect with is awesome! I hope you get along with your new DD! But don't pressure yourself if you're just not vibing too. There are always more opportunities. 

Related a bit, I haven't seen people referring to their dolls as their daughters for YEARS. I remember when that was super common, a la figure/doll.fm days. Back then I thought it was funny. I see it as more endearing now when people are very attached to their dolls. After joining DOA and doing some reading, I realized this is actually pretty common in the resin doll communities too with the whole bonding thing (not so much the daughter thing, though having a doll family is).

I think it's cute when a seller thanks me for giving their figure or doll a new home. Looking at belongings this way is charming and makes them less disposable to me.

Think I fall under the heading of “wet.” I definitely have an emotional attachment, but it not as profound as the one I feel for my cat. The doll is plastic, whereas the cat is a living thing with his own emotional bond to me, and that makes the relationship very different.

One thing I do ponder as I get older is that I probably won’t get another pet when this one is gone, because it wouldn’t be fair to an animal if I die and essentially leave it missing the caregiver it’s completely dependent on.

At that point I wonder if my attachment to the dolls will grow.

 

22 hours ago, AliensOfGold said:

If my dolls are my daughters then I'm a really creepy and abusive "father" because I force them to wear clothes they probably don't want to

22 hours ago, AliensOfGold said:

I'm forever leaving them standing around naked for weeks on end

 

Guilty of the same. Dressing Rei in a totally out of character “Kawaii in the street, senpai in the sheets” t-shirt and photographing Mako in a very risqué bikini, would definitely place me in the abusive parent category if I saw them as kids. 

Plus mine have all been naked for the last few weeks as I clean / catalog them and all of their toys & outfits.

At the end of the day no matter how attached we may be, they are toys made of plastic. It’s fine to anthropomorphize them to a degree, but they aren’t the same as living things.  

 

I do think most people who are very bonded (or whichever term you want to use) can still recognize them as inanimate things. While I personally don’t care for the daughter terminology myself I don’t think it’s “that deep” either. It’s not too different from having a favorite childhood item or something similar in my eyes.

Going as far as to call other people creepy and the like just from disliking their choice of words feels unfair to me. As long as people aren’t neglecting living things or their finances to the point of severe harm I’m not going to dwell on the words they use or if they interact with dolls differently from me. 

1 hour ago, empty said:

I do think most people who are very bonded (or whichever term you want to use) can still recognize them as inanimate things. While I personally don’t care for the daughter terminology myself I don’t think it’s “that deep” either. It’s not too different from having a favorite childhood item or something similar in my eyes.

Going as far as to call other people creepy and the like just from disliking their choice of words feels unfair to me. As long as people aren’t neglecting living things or their finances to the point of severe harm I’m not going to dwell on the words they use or if they interact with dolls differently from me. 

Exactly this; it feels unfair and makes me feel sad 😢. I'm extremely financially responsible and have a good job. I also personally dislike children and am happily childfree; my love and bonding just goes to my bf, plants, and hobbies - that includes dolls (soon!!!!). <- This is just my experience though, not speaking for anyone else 💖.

12 hours ago, rainglow said:

I'm finally feeling what a lot of people call a "bond" with my current dolls (well, doll and floating head) and I luv it.
I took one to visit my friend who also loves dolls when they were having a bad day, and lemme tell you, driving with an adorable MDD in the passenger seat is delightful lol. 

I've gone through..maybe 7 dolls in the past, that I just never connected with or felt I bought for reasons that weren't genuine to me. Finding a doll I finally connect with is awesome! I hope you get along with your new DD! But don't pressure yourself if you're just not vibing too. There are always more opportunities. 

Related a bit, I haven't seen people referring to their dolls as their daughters for YEARS. I remember when that was super common, a la figure/doll.fm days. Back then I thought it was funny. I see it as more endearing now when people are very attached to their dolls. After joining DOA and doing some reading, I realized this is actually pretty common in the resin doll communities too with the whole bonding thing (not so much the daughter thing, though having a doll family is).

I think it's cute when a seller thanks me for giving their figure or doll a new home. Looking at belongings this way is charming and makes them less disposable to me.

Ahh, I'm not able to add more quotes to my reply above.

 

This is so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy you're feeling the bond! And omgoshhhh I can just imagine how your MDD looks in the passenger seat!!!!! SO CUTE. I also think of "daughter" (or whatever you decide to call the doll) as very endearing and soft. 

And yes, I agree with the home part!

 

8 hours ago, BeyondTime said:

Think I fall under the heading of “wet.” I definitely have an emotional attachment,

 

Quoting you here to say thank you for letting me know the terminology!  

25 minutes ago, pinkseifuku said:

Ahh, I'm not able to add more quotes to my reply above.

You’ll be able to edit your posts after you get off new member status. 
 

25 minutes ago, pinkseifuku said:

Quoting you here to say thank you for letting me know the terminology!

Credit belongs to @That_Dollfie_Dude earlier in the thread, I’d never heard the term before that.

 

2 hours ago, empty said:

I do think most people who are very bonded (or whichever term you want to use) can still recognize them as inanimate things.

I expect that this true, and I’m not criticizing people in any way for having a bond.

Oh yes, I wasn’t meaning that towards your response specifically. Your stance on it is pretty close to what I assume the average reasonable person has going by your post. I was just speaking more generally since lately I’ve been seeing a bit of negative commentary towards people who choose different paths dollwise and some of the posts in this thread reminded me of them though way less inflammatory, lol.

14 hours ago, empty said:

and some of the posts in this thread reminded me of them though way less inflammatory, lol.

I’ve known a lot of the folks here on the forum for years now, and I don’t think anyone here is trying to be hostile. I think what people are expressing is really more the idea that the dolls are here solely for our enjoyment, whereas a child exists for its own sake and is entitled to have a life whose course is determined by itself. As @Aliens_Of_Gold pointed out, a child picks it’s own clothing once it’s old enough to do so, and the parent supports the child as it does so in order to ensure that the child grows into a healthy adult. A parent generally wouldn’t leave their child sitting naked on a shelf for weeks because they don’t have time to spend on them.

A doll can fill a void in someone’s life for sure, and I think that can be a healthy thing, but it’s a completely one way relationship with the doll existing to benefit it’s owner. Our relationship with dolls is inherently narcissistic, which is fine because the doll can’t really be hurt by this. By contrast, a relationship with a living thing has to be 2-way to be healthy, and living things are harmed by narcissistic relationships. 

To me the dolls are my characters and I have a bound with them like you have with your favourite characters, may that be literary or anime or any other media. Because they are my own original characters I feel more close to them than I do with my favourite anime/literary characters. They are intrinsically connected to who I am and thus they mean a lot to me. But because they are inanimate objects and to most people outside the hobby 'they are just dolls' so it's hard to explain the connection with them. This is I think why people might refer to them as children or similar terms. The bond we have with our dolls is something hard to explain, or at least it is to me, which is why I think we try to use terms that imply a deep connection. 

Ah well maybe I'm thinking too much about this but it's how I feel 😉