Dealing with family/guests on your collection

I don't know if a topic similar to this was already posted, but I wanted to bring this up.

How do you deal with your family/friends/guests who have little children and/or pets? I think this is more of a household issue more than how to protect them, as I am fully aware of how to store them securely in display cases or drawers.

I'm already traumatized since I used to have a Gundam collection, and a relative urged that I let my cousins play with my "toys" otherwise I'm "selfish" because I don't want to share my stuff. I had a friend who also just let their dog chew my stuffed toys and said "but it's a dog, so naturally they would do that".

What's worse is that if I'm away from home and guests arrive, then a family member will just get one of my collectibles for these children to "play" with...end of day the collectible becomes damaged, and worst...destroyed.

You just have to be (tactfully) more assertive about protecting your belongings. How others perceive them isn't their business.

How would they feel if their belongings were messed with without their consent? That's just not right, and the fact that they are toys makes no difference.

12 minutes ago, chef_mai said:

You just have to be (tactfully) more assertive about protecting your belongings. How others perceive them isn't their business.

How would they feel if their belongings were messed with without their consent? That's just not right, and the fact that they are toys makes no difference.

They like to play the emotional blackmail card. "They're your family." "Are your toys more important than sharing with them?"

Sometimes they'd even say "why not just give it to them" without even thinking how much these collectibles are. It's kind of one-sided. Maybe because they don't see these things us hobbyists do in the same light. Another thing they would usually say is "aren't you too old for that anyway".

Depending on your housing situation, putting them in your bedroom (or similar closed off room) and not allowing anyone in there without you might help. I myself have them in a hobby room and will put "child locks" on the cabinets I am buying for them so someone cannot just open the doors, especially children. I also have very supportive family and boyfriend who help make their friends or other family aware that they cannot touch my dolls without my permission. Also, never let someone guilt trip you about your hobby, especially if they do not know much if anything about it.

If you are really concerned, printing out a "do not touch" sign might add as another deterrent for adults or older kids.

6 minutes ago, ateliervanilla said:

They like to play the emotional blackmail card. "They're your family." "Are your toys more important than sharing with them?"

Simple answer: yes. MY toys are meant for me and I will use them as I see fit.

Don't let them give you the "too old" card either. Tell them if they do not understand your hobbies that is okay, but you should not be belittled for something that makes you happy.

My mom is 56, I am 28, we both still play with dolls and toys. My boyfriend is 25 and still plays with Legos. You are never too old to do something that makes you happy.

Edited March 28, 2022 by marishade

They know how much the price tag is? Or this will trigger some other nonsense?

5 minutes ago, marishade said:

Depending on your housing situation, putting them in your bedroom (or similar closed off room) and not allowing anyone in there without you might help. I myself have them in a hobby room and will put "child locks" on the cabinets I am buying for them so someone cannot just open the doors, especially children.

I didn't think about the "child locks", that sounds like a good idea. Once I get those, I won't have to worry about anyone who can touch my collection even when I'm not around. Thank you!

Just now, Testament said:

They know how much the price tag is? Or this will trigger some other nonsense?

Oh, for sure it will be the latter. I'm never open about the price tag, because it will be an argument which everyone here probably already knows about.

3 minutes ago, ateliervanilla said:

Oh, for sure it will be the latter.

Your best defense is telling them how much they have to pay if the kid or animal damages it. Most people aren't going to hand something that cost them $600 to a child. 

3 minutes ago, BeyondTime said:

Your best defense is telling them how much they have to pay if the kid or animal damages it. Most people aren't going to hand something that cost them $600 to a child. 

Funny part is, my Gundam collection is near that amount of money if you would total it... but was still decimated, and no one ever helped me recover from that. And they knew how much each of those were. It's because of the mentality that despite how much those are, they shove it under the rug and think they're still "toys" end of the day. I'll really set up those locks so only that no one else can reach for them when I'm away.

<--- Hands obnoxious parent/relative/guest unopened, still in plastic wrap RG or Perfect Grade (having a price tag on would add to it). 

Tell them to open it.

Once they see all the bags with parts still attached to the frames, tell them if they can build it, perfectly!, then their kid can play with it.

 

Edit: It has to look like the picture on the box, decals and all!

Edited March 28, 2022 by battrastard

This is one of those rare times I'd become really assertive and be like, "You can think what you want about me, but no means no." Family really is a loose term, because I have family members that certainly are anything but. I'd happy share whatever I have with people, but you also need to look out for you. If being a little assertive saves you the pain of having broken or damaged dolls, then by all means put your mean face on. Some of my family gives me so much crap because they looked up how much they cost and how many I have. I'm done justifying my lifestyle to people that don't matter. You got your support here! ♥

In case it's helpful, I didn't have cabinets or anything I could lock easily when I was younger. (My room itself didn't have a lock either)

So I bought a big sturdy plastic tote with a lid and drilled holes in it on two opposite sides (with a power drill). My expensive stuff went inside smaller plastic protective containers - with bubble wrap if necessary. I'm pretty sure I got it from Lowe's.  I stacked the smaller containers inside the big tote. I then put locks in the holes I drilled.  My immediate family understood my collections as they all collect something but I lived on a main street and neighbors (young and old) were over alllllllll the time so I had to take steps to protect my things as stuff kept getting stolen. Not as easy to sneak out an entire tote vs a small figure or video game. I sometimes put heavy stuff in it too, like exercise weights. I'm sure there's other options for locking storage now but I had to figure out something I could do myself and wasn't much money to do

52 minutes ago, Keoka said:

So I bought a big sturdy plastic tote with a lid and drilled holes in it on two opposite sides (with a power drill).

That's not a bad idea actually. You can definitely get large locking storage boxes big enough to hold the dolls while you are out. You probably would want one with holes for padlocks. 

18 hours ago, ateliervanilla said:

I don't know if a topic similar to this was already posted, but I wanted to bring this up.

How do you deal with your family/friends/guests who have little children and/or pets? I think this is more of a household issue more than how to protect them, as I am fully aware of how to store them securely in display cases or drawers.

I'm already traumatized since I used to have a Gundam collection, and a relative urged that I let my cousins play with my "toys" otherwise I'm "selfish" because I don't want to share my stuff. I had a friend who also just let their dog chew my stuffed toys and said "but it's a dog, so naturally they would do that".

What's worse is that if I'm away from home and guests arrive, then a family member will just get one of my collectibles for these children to "play" with...end of day the collectible becomes damaged, and worst...destroyed.

Small claims.

You damage it, you buy it.

 

Seriously, it isn't okay to let others destroy your stuff. They clearly don't respect you, and by association, your items. Especially when some of the rarer items in this hobby can reach thousands.

 

Or, time to invest in a safe, a really heavy one with a lock.

Edited March 29, 2022 by Misuka

On 3/28/2022 at 4:52 PM, ateliervanilla said:

I don't know if a topic similar to this was already posted, but I wanted to bring this up.

How do you deal with your family/friends/guests who have little children and/or pets? I think this is more of a household issue more than how to protect them, as I am fully aware of how to store them securely in display cases or drawers.

I'm already traumatized since I used to have a Gundam collection, and a relative urged that I let my cousins play with my "toys" otherwise I'm "selfish" because I don't want to share my stuff. I had a friend who also just let their dog chew my stuffed toys and said "but it's a dog, so naturally they would do that".

What's worse is that if I'm away from home and guests arrive, then a family member will just get one of my collectibles for these children to "play" with...end of day the collectible becomes damaged, and worst...destroyed.

1) My house is like a military base, you do not just land with out clearance. And if you do, you sit and wait at my leisure till the aliens are secured.

2) All the important stuff is in my office and bedroom and they have those one sided press locks for wandering knob turners.

3) I don't have toys I have models and they are not tough enough for kids thus the answer is no. And anything that looks like a toy is rare so if it breaks you will no longer be family ( lol )

4) No pets, especially cats cause they deliberately push stuff off shelves and claw things. 

5) MY HOUSE......... MY RULES..... This is the law of the land. If you don't like it you don't have to come here, this is my space.

 

Ugggghhhh this sounds terrible! I'm sorry you have to deal with such disrespect of your stuff! Is it possible to buy an outside lock for the room your stuff is in? That's generally what I see recommended in situations like this. You can just lock up the room when they come over or when you're away and then there's nothing they can do about it and you don't have to worry about coming home to destroyed property! Although it sounds like they would still try to guilt trip you into opening it, which in that case, hold firm! Avoiding their guilt trips/rude comments is not worth having such expensive collectables being destroyed imo. Kids are easily distractable and would stop fussing about the toys if you get their attention on something else.

As for the adults, I would make it very clear how much these items cost and would demand payment if they destroyed property. Seriously, as another commenter said, small claims court is an option if you would really want to pursue them for damages to your gundam collection. It sounds like they'll definitely balk and cause a fuss about it, which could be a huge pain for you, but I'm willing to bet they would stop taking your stuff and letting their kids/pets destroy it if they actually had to face the consequences.

Sorry to read about the troubles your family members are causing you. Like others mentioned you are absolutely not selfish for keeping your stuff for yourself. The problem with collectibles is that most people don’t know (or want to know) what the pricetag is.
I do believe that even your family members have stuff that they don’t want you to touch. Confront them by mirroring them. ‘What if I break …?’ or ‘Can I borrow your …? You would be selfish not to share.’ In the end every person has something they don’t want to share. That boundary must simply be respected. 

Your house your rules. And I agree that there should be consequences for breaking your stuff. A family member that touches your stuff when you aren’t home is in my opinion not done. You don’t have to accept it. 

hope things will turn out well. 

I know the feeling. It wasn't as bad as a collection being destroyed, but YEARS ago I had my LEGO figurines (which took hours to put together) taken completely apart. Again, and again. I found that having a "Do NOT Touch" sign did little to deter others. I eventually gave up and sold them. Wish I had known about acrylic cases back then.

Have a lock to deter others, be it a lock on your room, a cabinet with a lock, or a child lock. Privacy is a sacred thing, after all. I might not recommend child locks, unless there is a "key" or something required to open it. Because, based on what you've said of your family, the adults would get in to get the dolls out, despite the obvious attempt to keep people out.

One idea is to lock up your dolls, and have a "spare," a cheap Barbie or something that is pretty and can distract the children from your precious dolls. That's worked for me.

And put your foot down. To me, it doesn't really matter how much they cost, what matters is the sentimental value and the value of your time. It took time to get the money to purchase the doll, time to find the perfect doll, time get the doll, time for a faceup, time to put together an outfit, etc.

If they don't value your time, they don't value you. I say this as someone who has put up with horrible family members and friends. You can't choose your family, but you sure don't have to put up with them and their excuses.

I hope you found a good answer and are working to rectify the problem.

Good luck, and remember, you're not alone.

On 5/23/2022 at 2:12 PM, Dolorre said:

One idea is to lock up your dolls, and have a "spare," a cheap Barbie or something that is pretty and can distract the children from your precious dolls. That's worked for me.

 

Yeah, that's what I did. Put a cheap and resilient toy out that's safe to be played with. All of my pricier stuff are finally in safe display shelves. 

 

On 5/23/2022 at 2:12 PM, Dolorre said:

If they don't value your time, they don't value you. I say this as someone who has put up with horrible family members and friends. You can't choose your family, but you sure don't have to put up with them and their excuses.

I realized that for quite awhile now and I've never been happier putting my foot down. It might have been a little too chaotic to get that through their heads, but at least they're aware never to mess with my stuff regardless of how "weird" they are ever again.

Wow was I getting irritated for you reading this. I'm glad you were able to come to a solution that worked in your favor, keeping your stuff safe and secure.

Most of my family members are aware of my hobby, and they are pretty ok with it. I have other family members with similar hobbies, so I am pretty fortunate in that regard.