Do you ever speak of your doll-collecting hobby?

We all know that in this society, it's easier to share these "normal" things such as school, work, travelling, children, pets, etc.

I could easily talk about those things, but when I get asked what I truly enjoyed doing - I always just refer to either playing video games and/or watching anime, because those hobbies are generally more accepted now.

I'm married but have no children and/or pets, and I'm frustrated that so many people would keep asking when we'll have children or have a fur baby. 

Normal conversations go like "oh, my baby can speak three words now", or "my dog went to the vet to..." etc., etc.

I can't say something like "my little MDD has some cute clothes from the mail" or "I just finished making doll eyes" because nobody will relate to that 😂 It's actually why I like being in this forum because it's the only place (other than FB groups) that I'm comfortable sharing about this hobby.

I don't know why others shove down what they want on "weird" people like me saying we should have pets/children; I never tell them to get dolls or anything else I'm into. I wish it would be easier to say that I already have "children", which means my doll family, but of course anybody like them would dismiss it as abnormal and that I should get "help".

Short answer: No

So i've been out of this hobby for a few years, so my girls were gathering dust and wearing the same clothes. And recently decided to get back in to it and buy new things and make doll related things. Also starting to pop in the weekly Zoom meetings, to listen or share things that I have made or bought.

Sometimes I test the waters a bit and mention dolls to see their reaction. If they have some sort of reaction (good or bad) I usually go with it, but if they clearly don’t seem interested then I drop it—they’re no fun to talk about this with and I figure they would probably get irritated if I pushed the issue. The ones that get worked up about dolls are amusing to talk to if you enjoy pushing peoples’ buttons and seeing their reactions 😇

I usually prefer to keep these topics for myself and forums. In my country people are quite closed minded and think these dolls are just a great waste of money or toys just for children. In other cases, people here think you have very different tastes, and in the worst, you're a freak, pervert or weirdo. I'm not exaggerating when I say I'm almost sure just less than 1% of the population here knows what a vynil doll is. Resin dolls are a little bit more common, and barbies even much more but, as i said, with children (or bootlegs with very laughable low quality).

Edited July 5, 2022 by Pit

I live with a roommate and he hides my dolls before anyone comes over.  He'd rather avoid any awkward conversations and prefers a neutral presentation.  For my own part, some of the people at my church know I have vinyl dolls.  It's a pretty progressive church so everyone is pretty supportive if they know you're being sincere. 

3 hours ago, Pit said:

I usually prefer to keep these topics for myself and forums. In my country people are quite closed minded and think these dolls are just a great waste of money or toys just for children. In other cases, If you say something related, people think you're a case with very different tastes, and in the worst, a freak, pervert or weirdo. I'm not exaggerating when I say I'm almost sure just less than 1% of the population here knows what a vynil doll is. Resin dolls are a little bit more common, and barbies even much more but, as i said, with children (or bootlegs with very laughable low quality).

I used to come from a more conservative country as well, and think that toys are only for children...so I get what you mean. Even then, after moving here to the US, it's still not widely popular however they're less judgmental about it... It's just that I'm not in the same rat race as everyone else where they talk about their pets/children (this is a different story altogether) and here's me still "playing with toys" when I should have my own children to play with them. Sometimes I'm already fed up with people having to assert their opinions like that.

2 hours ago, That_Dollfie_Dude said:

For my own part, some of the people at my church know I have vinyl dolls.  It's a pretty progressive church so everyone is pretty supportive if they know you're being sincere. 

Wow, that's interesting to hear. I'm no way religious but I gave a chance to attend a friend's church before - low and behold, I was dismissed as someone "fallen from grace" and that I am doomed for eternity LOL. I'm glad to know that church is very accepting (which in my opinion, most churches should be).

No, but I am trying to be more open about it lately. I was nervous to tell even my best friend of 12+ years. I only did this year. And unsurprisingly, he took it just fine lol! But I was so afraid anyway.

Unfortunately I grew up around kids all my life who bullied me about literally anything I liked(even if they liked it too!) all the way until I graduated high school. So I very quickly became super guarded about telling anyone anything about my interests and hobbies because it would always sort of taint my enjoyment of them afterwards.

As I'm getting into my late 20s now, I'm starting to get real tired of feeling like I live a double life and that no one can actually get close enough to me to get to know the real me. I think I'm just done wasting my time being with people I can't be myself around. I collect and customize dolls. They don't have to love that, but if they can't accept it, or stand to hear me say "oh yeah, I worked on this doll project this week", I'm just not sure we're a good match in friends anyway.

I also hope you can hang in there about the invasive questions. I'm married as well, and we're always honestly shocked that we haven't been bombarded with the "when are you having kids?" questions yet. At least both our families know and accept that part...

Edited June 14, 2022 by Noxxbunny

Most of my coworkers don't know about my Kiddos, there's only one I openly talk about them with, due to his GF showing an interest. 

She was really surprised at how big they are! After I brought them out, (Tana, Merri, Risa, Meg and MDD Marisa) I let her know about the forums. 

Otherwise, most everyone at work is more "traditional": "Toys are for Kids, Boys play with Action Figures, Girls play with Dolls". 

Yeah, whatever, nearly eleven years into the hobby, and turning 61 on Fathers Day/Juneteenth, you don't like what I do? Go Pound Sand!

@Noxxbunny Thanks! Well, our families accept that too, more like the friends are all multiplying their children and pets...then here's us just having more of our "own" kind of children which are the dolls lol. I couldn't openly say that...yeah... we already do have children, just not human kids/fur babies 😂

@battrastard As progressive as our world is becoming, I'm not gonna lie...Some people are still truly misogynistic 😕 What we do with our money and time shouldn't really be anybody else's business. On the flip side, I'm really just happy to find this forum. I wish I could have learned of this sooner!

 

(Side note: to any Mod/Admin - I seem to be encountering Internal Server Errors more frequently whenever I quote and submit. I'm hoping this could get fixed, thanks!)

11 minutes ago, ateliervanilla said:

On the flip side, I'm really just happy to find this forum. I wish I could have learned of this sooner!

I didn't find out about any of this until I was 49-50, so better late than never! 

Having met you and your other half, I'm certain you both will fit in here, and with the local "Ecchizona" group, too. 

(We just have to find a Kiddo that he can't refuse!) 

I don't share. 

My family doesn't like them, and online, even within communities with older anime fans who are generally open-minded about stuff and are fully aware of BJDs see them as creepy or perverted.

 

a cousin very close to my age, -that i more or less grew up with- poked fun at my "Barbie"

(TOYNAMI 11in. Tenchi Muyo! series Princess Ayeka Jurai) my first-ever Anime doll, a good 20 years ago now.

that said, my Grandma (R.I.P.) was very understanding and quite supportive, even buying me a spare doll at a shop local to her,

when the hips broke on my original, as well as getting me sewing materials here and there;

 

 

 

Indeed, i have come a long, LONG way since then... but even so, i sure do miss my Grandma, and deeply appreciate all she did for me...

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Tasuke

@chef_mai I'm sorry to hear that. Some of these fans put a stereotype to dolls...but collecting action figures are more accepted?? Prejudice truly exists in any community. It was widely popularized in shows and media that dolls are creepy and it's become the "norm"

 

@Tasuke Yeah. They like to generalize them as "Barbie" 😕

Your grandma is so sweet!

 

@battrastard We'll give it time! If only I was skilled enough to craft armor, he'll definitely cave 😂 

I'll maybe vaguely bring them up if who I am talking to is really geeky (specifically into anime or games with an anime-styled art direction).
But for the most part, nope. I just talk about doll stuff online or lurk forums in silence.

Recently tried my luck with a husband's friend who is really into both, and he hates dolls. Finds them really creepy (but loves figures oddly enough).

It's just my husband and I now since we moved away from our old favorite doll meetup group in the SC area. 
😔 It just hasn't "hit" the same, since leaving there.

I only share when I know it is accepted. It is sad that people think it is childish or that the dolls are creepy. Which I have heard a few times.

Currently at my new job nobody knows and I think that stays that way. My previous job was at a company with Japanese origin. Maybe the open business culture made it possible to be open about this hobby without weird reactions.

My friends know about my figure collection but absolutely not about the BJD hobby. They are open minded but better safe than sorry.

Another problem I had involved my ex who is terrified for dolls. That didn’t end well.

When I got the reaction that people are creeped out by them I actually fuel that thought. Mostly with small things like ‘I keep them in a closed shelf’ and ‘placing knives and other sharp stuff away from them’ saying in a not serious joking way.

8 hours ago, Rajke said:

When I got the reaction that people are creeped out by them I actually fuel that thought.

I have a hard time with that.  I understand self deprecating humor, but it wears me down when it's always in the same direction. 

25 minutes ago, That_Dollfie_Dude said:

I have a hard time with that.  I understand self deprecating humor, but it wears me down when it's always in the same direction. 

I can appreciate not enjoying being the butt of the joke in a sense, but playing into their disgust/fear/dislike of dolls doesn’t have to be self-deprecating. I like to make off-hand comments like, “Yeah, she’ll crawl into your purse and follow you home while you’re not looking.” or “Don’t sit there, that’s where she likes to sharpen the knives.”

Alternatively, you can turn it on them and make them feel stupid. “You’re a grown-ass adult and you’re scared of piece of plastic??”

Yeah, that's totally fair.  I guess the people I'm thinking of in my life react with disgust rather than fear. 

I find it hard to talk about myself in general unless I'm asked a specific question. It's a self esteem issue that I've carried since I was a child, like I don't think other people will be interested in me anyway.

If I'm comfortable enough to talk about myself with someone, then my dolls may eventually come up since they take up the most of my hobby time other than reading. It also depends on the person of course, but usually if I'm comfortable with them I've already decided they aren't judgy.

On the other hand, if my mom is with me and part of the conversation my dolls will get brought up with anybody and everybody, because she views my skills with styling them to be a source of pride. To be fair, no one she talks to is rude about it to our faces. I've also become known as a doll "expert" in my mom's circle of friends due to her, and recently I was able to fix her friend's porcelain doll that had had its eyes fall into its head after the glue had let go over time. It was nice to fix the doll so that it didn't look so creepy with no eyes and yellow glue residue everywhere. 

I used to be pretty awkward and self-conscious of my hobbies, but at some point in the past several years I stopped caring and I've never been happier. I bring my dolls with me everywhere. If anyone else has a problem with it, I don't care because I'll never see them again. I don't know these people and I don't care to associate with them anyway. It's easier said than done, but you just gotta own up to it. If you're confident about it then it's hard for other people to be rude or make fun of you. I'm a NEET now, but when I was working I had anime figures in my office and nobody ever said anything to me because I just acted like it was normal. I guess it's harder to deal with when it's someone who's close to you who disapproves, but thankfully I haven't really had that experience.

5 minutes ago, Kirino said:I had anime figures in my office and nobody ever said anything to me because I just acted like it was normal. I guess it's harder to deal with when it's someone who's close to you who disapproves, but thankfully I haven't really had that experience.

I experienced that there is a gap between dolls and figures. I have the feeling figures are more accepted than dolls. I never hide my figure collection for anyone.

Another noticeable thing is that people reacts weird when talking about dolls. But when people visit and then see the dolls the reaction is most of the times positive. I do think that the word doll somewhat gives a bad impression. 

2 hours ago, That_Dollfie_Dude said:

I have a hard time with that.  I understand self deprecating humor, but it wears me down when it's always in the same direction. 

Understandable. I actually have some horror props for some variation.

 

I personally feel that speaking about a hobby vs letting people see it are very different. My dolls are on full display in my home and I also take them out for photos on occasion with no difficulty or embarrassment. If you're welcome in my home I already know you well, and if you're a stranger in a park I don't care.

But whether I bring them up in conversation by myself is usually a matter of how comfortable I am with a person and whether I think they'll care. If I do bring it up and they react positively then I can show pictures, but if not I drop it.

Edited July 6, 2022 by Jezrah

I think the answer is sometimes. I've had people call my dolls creepy/gross and immediately you know set up walls because of that. If i see someone collects dolls of another sort or they're someone I really trust I talk with them about dolls. My best friend who actually got me to begin really liking dollfie dreams wasn't in the doll community at all lol. She just saw pictures after talking to me and worked hard to learn more to share what i was interested in. It can be great to share your dolls with someone you care about! 

Dolls, I find, are a great people filter. I take mine everywhere. You can tell almost anyone that you collect action figures, Transformers, or books, and at worst they'll think you're moderately eccentric. But dolls... dolls are weird. Dolls are creepy. I brought some of my BJDs to uni, and someone on my dorm floor started a rumor that I was a warlock with haunted voodoo avatars. But I also met three other owners there. The right people will respond in kind.

Generally, no. A lot of people seem to find dolls creepy so it isn't really a thing to share with everyone.