Bonding?

Hey everyone. It's been a while since I've logged on here, but I haven't even had the account very long, hahah. Anyway. My first DD was a Rena MDD; up until her I've only had two resin girls and two other resin girls that are my fiance's.

 

I still haven't been able to bond with Calliope, my MDD Rena. I keep trying to--and I really like her! I'm just starting to wonder if I bought her on a whim, or if she's just maybe not for me? I also feel pretty bad that she's my only DD girl here, and the rest are resin. (I know they're just dolls, but still.) Does anyone have any suggestions on how I could maybe bond with her? I really don't want to have to sell her, I'd feel awful and she really is a lovely little girl. I don't know what to do, hahah. This has been bugging me for a while, now. I'm starting to think maybe a house with more DD girls might make her happier? (Again I know they're dolls but hush.)

1. Change her look (New eyes, wig, faceup, etc)

2. Take her outside for meetups

3. Take lots of photos

4. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Say good bye.

 

I kind of did the same thing when I got my first DD. I still love her, but she just isn't what I wanted anymore. I am planning to find her a good home. She did start the hobby for me and made me understand what I really want out of it and will still be special to me. Good luck looking for your dream girls.

Sometimes things just plain don't click. Have you tried different styles of outfits? One thing that can make a huge difference is changing wigs and/or eyes. Several of the girls I've seen on here I thought were pretty "meh" underwent a simple eye change and it made them almost irresistible. The wig style and color can also completely alter their personality. Another thing to consider might be different hands. Having multiple hand options can really give them a LOT more expression.

 

If you have a camera, ANY camera (even a cel phone camera or old, cheap, point and shoot), take pictures. Play with different poses, locations, etc, and talk with her about what she does and doesn't like while you do so. If you feel bold enough, take her to a park for some pictures. I've found that as long as the camera is out, people tend to a lot more forgiving of someone playing with dolls, and often a change of setting can help her personality open itself up.

 

Another thing I've done is playing board games with our dolls. It can sometimes be a little bit of a challenge playing and making moves in accordance with each different doll's personality, but it can be a fun way to try to get inside their heads and learn a bit more about them.

 

Remember, one big difference between vinyl and resin dolls is that vinyls are much more forgiving of a little rougher treatment, and MUCH better at being handled and played with. You obviously don't want to be throwing them around the room, but casual snuggling, posing, carrying and gentle playing will probably not damage them, even a trip down a slide should be fine. And don't be too afraid of her getting dirty. Clothes can be washed, dirt comes off pretty easily (A Magic Eraser will take care of almost anything that gets on her, with enough scrubbing), and even the worst stains can be treated (There are some excellent guides on this forum). Minor scrapes and scratches can often be rubbed out, and anything that ends up being permanent is just a sign that she was well loved (think of the Velveteen Rabbit).

 

In my experience, DDs, and especially MDDs really do like to have company. Most have trouble being "only children", but on the other hand, if it turns out that DDs simply aren't your style, getting more wouldn't likely improve things.

I'd also say try her in a LOT of different outfits. Sometimes you find something you like that you hadn't been trying to look for.

I concur. I don't bond much with a doll straight out of the box, I see the default character or someone else's doll when I look at them. I usually have to do at least some work on a doll to bond with them, be it a change of eyes/hair/clothes, or making something custom for them. Recently I bonded with a friend's dolls because I brought them to my house for maintenance, cleaning and sueding. I also like to sit them on the coffee table and stare at them for a few days until I can determine what I do or do not like about their appearance. Sometimes bonding can be a difficult process, and it takes a few more tries than you thought it would, but it's worth it in the end.

As the other posters have already said, the main thing is to spend time with her and try different things. I've actually had a few of my girls take a LONG time to "click" with me. And doing the sorts of things listed above like changing their wigs/eyes/clothing helped immensely.

 

Also, taking photos sounds really simple but it *IS* a huge deal in helping bond with your girl. I know for me, thru trial and error and loads of photos, my Yukino and I really hit it off a few months after she arrived. I didn't really know who she was or how she would "act" with her sisters and I until I took her to a meetup and then went out and about with just me and her for photos. After spending time alone with her and doing lots of poses and such, she just "clicked" with me and it's been great ever since.

 

So the list Juu-yuki made above is a good one and I'd try them all. If after all this has been tried and you still don't bond, it wasn't meant to be and she needs to be rehomed to someone else. Don't worry if this happens tho. All Dollfie Dreams have a destiny of their own and yours WILL find you in time. If Rena wasn't for you then all you can do is help her find her new owner.

 

 

 

Billy

Well, I'm in the same boat actually at the moment. My first DD arrived a couple of days ago, I just opened her up, checked that everything was okay, dressed her and left her like that on my table for about a week now. I'm not so sure how I feel towards her, but I'm willing to give it a try. This weekend I'm going to try different eyes and wigs with her and also try and see whether my SD outfits will fit her. Then we're going to try to take some photos of her. She is very cute, but I still feel a little bit overwhelmed with her at the moment.

I like juu-yuki's suggestions. Especially number 1. Changing the eyes and wig of a doll alone are fairly cheap (compared to the price of a full doll) changes that you can make, and they can dramatically change the look and feel of a doll. Maybe you need to kinda turn your doll into a new character.

I would agree also with changing wigs and/or eyes. I have a custom girl myself that I'm having difficulty getting a look I like on her. I finally found a wig that fits the look I'm going for, now I just need to find some eyes!

1. Change her look (New eyes, wig, faceup, etc)

2. Take her outside for meetups

3. Take lots of photos

4. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Say good bye.

 

I kind of did the same thing when I got my first DD. I still love her, but she just isn't what I wanted anymore. I am planning to find her a good home. She did start the hobby for me and made me understand what I really want out of it and will still be special to me. Good luck looking for your dream girls.

 

I've changed her wig twice now; I've had her character wig, a pink wig (which I threw out, it wasn't anything like described), and a longer brown one... I still like the original wig on her best. I don't know about changing her eyes; I had been intending to buy a head from SQ Lab though. And I did actually take her to a meetup, locally! It was nice, and everyone really seemed to like her. I haven't been able to really sit down and photograph her, though. So I'm going to try that. Hahah. Thank you for the suggestions!

Sometimes things just plain don't click. Have you tried different styles of outfits? One thing that can make a huge difference is changing wigs and/or eyes. Several of the girls I've seen on here I thought were pretty "meh" underwent a simple eye change and it made them almost irresistible. The wig style and color can also completely alter their personality. Another thing to consider might be different hands. Having multiple hand options can really give them a LOT more expression.

 

...

 

Oh, I know what you mean about those simple changes... Hahah. I only have tried two outfits on her, to be honest. I bought her a bartender's outfit originally, but I'm liking her more in this school uniform from one of my fiance's dolls. I don't have money to spend right now, so their wardrobe is kind of limited! Hahah. I did want to try the hand thing, though too!

 

You're also right about the camera thing, when taking dolls out. Reactions go from gawking and occasional laughter to just looking and carrying on, once a camera is out. Especially if you're with friends. I haven't had a chance to go out and do pictures with this girl since I detest being cold. Hahah. That may have something to do with it.

 

I've been very careful not to stain any part of her, even though I've been told they're easier to manage. I think it's her price that scares me. My resin girls only cost about half as much as her at the most (per doll, not altogether). And she does sit with all the resin girls, on the top shelf of our bookcase. I just feel bad, because there's five resin girls (45cm), with another resin girl (yosd pet/cat) on the way. My fiance is considering getting a DD Sister, but he isn't too sure. I just don't know if she's happy here. My fiance and I are more resin oriented; and I don't feel I do all the things a DD owner would with her despite my 'nerdier' hobbies. I'll go on here, or figure FM and see everyone doing such lovely and fun things with their DD girls and I just feel awful; like she'd be so much happier with someone like that.

As the other posters have already said, the main thing is to spend time with her and try different things. I've actually had a few of my girls take a LONG time to "click" with me. And doing the sorts of things listed above like changing their wigs/eyes/clothing helped immensely.

 

...

 

 

Billy

 

Yeah, that makes sense to me. Instead of changing her eyes, though--I was really looking into getting her a new head froM SQ Lab. I had originally intended this girl to look more pouty and tsundere, where as Rena's face is just so sweet and happy. That might be a problem, I guess? I did feel better after changing her clothes, though. Hahah.

 

Everyone here seems to agree about picture taking as a good form of bonding! It makes a lot of sense as well, and I guess I'll have to really push through the cold weather, and set some time aside for her and I to do just that. THat's really cute, by the way, how you clicked with Yukino. :3

 

Thank you, also, for the last section. If I do have to find her a new home, I'll have to remember to tell myself that so I don't cry like a big blubbering baby. I haven't had to re-home a doll yet, and I'm honestly afraid to, and home I never have to. I really hope I can connect with her.

Well, I'm in the same boat actually at the moment. My first DD arrived a couple of days ago, I just opened her up, checked that everything was okay, dressed her and left her like that on my table for about a week now. I'm not so sure how I feel towards her, but I'm willing to give it a try. This weekend I'm going to try different eyes and wigs with her and also try and see whether my SD outfits will fit her. Then we're going to try to take some photos of her. She is very cute, but I still feel a little bit overwhelmed with her at the moment.

 

; o ; That's what happened when I got Calliope, actually. I was so excited, I opened her, dressed her, put all her stuff away neatly in storage to keep for her... Then she sat on my desk in front of my computer, basically untouched, for a food while. Eventually after bringing her and my resin girls to a local meet, I decided she would be happier up on the shelf with them. So, that's where she is now. In a new outfit and wig.

 

I hope you and your girl bond, best of luck to the both of you!

I had problems to bond with some of my girls, but I always try what Juu-Yuki says. I try with new eyes, wigs or in some cases, sending them for a new face-up.

 

I've sold 3 of my girls, I've not bonded with, and I feel sad about rehoming them, but I know that all girls are now happy with their new families. 2 of them are with 2 good friends of mine, so I'm more happy too ^^

 

After a year having Mashiro (Momo) I've bonded with her a month ago or so, when I found the perfect eyes + wig combo for her. Once I found the combination, I knew how would be her personality

 

Now I have problems to bond to Airi, I like her so much, I've repainted her, I change her eyes and wigs lots of times, but I dont feel the "click". Anyway I'm going to try more times untill I bond with her. ^^

 

Trying wigs and eyes to bond with my girls is a problem for me, because now I have a lots of eyes and more than 50 different wigs for my girls.

Yeah, that makes sense to me. Instead of changing her eyes, though--I was really looking into getting her a new head froM SQ Lab. I had originally intended this girl to look more pouty and tsundere, where as Rena's face is just so sweet and happy. That might be a problem, I guess? I did feel better after changing her clothes, though. Hahah.

 

If you're really feeling more like you settled in getting a happy girl rather than a tsundere, you may or may not ever feel as good about her. In that case, though, you wouldn't want to sell the entire doll, just the head and switch to an SQLab head. Or a much more extreme option is to take Rena's head and wipe her face up off and mod it so that she can be tsundere. The 01 head is very versatile if you're willing to do slightly more extreme experimentation. But its up to you which way to go.

I have had it take as long as a year to bond with a doll, it took me that long to really discover her. I don't really bond with them until I have found the right wig and eyes made them some clothes and have had a couple of photo shoots. I have to handle them, sew for them, basically care for them. They really come alive for me through the camera lens that's where the bonding happens, it's like a more personnal eye contact between me and the doll through the lens.

 

My first DD is arriving in a few days, I'm a bit apprehensive because she is a radical departure from what I normally love in my BJD girls. She is white skin with a large bust, I normally hate big busted BJD's and normal skin is my usual color of choice.

 

But since I ordered her DDIII body in pieces I'm going to be spending time with her no matter what, that alone should be a bonding experience I hope.

 

Yeah, that makes sense to me. Instead of changing her eyes, though--I was really looking into getting her a new head froM SQ Lab. I had originally intended this girl to look more pouty and tsundere, where as Rena's face is just so sweet and happy. That might be a problem, I guess? I did feel better after changing her clothes, though. Hahah.

 

Everyone here seems to agree about picture taking as a good form of bonding! It makes a lot of sense as well, and I guess I'll have to really push through the cold weather, and set some time aside for her and I to do just that. THat's really cute, by the way, how you clicked with Yukino. :3

 

Thank you, also, for the last section. If I do have to find her a new home, I'll have to remember to tell myself that so I don't cry like a big blubbering baby. I haven't had to re-home a doll yet, and I'm honestly afraid to, and home I never have to. I really hope I can connect with her.

 

In my opinion, if you are going to change the head itself to a different head, that is a whole new girl. Truthfully, you are mainly just bonding with the head mold. Faceup, wigs, eyes and clothes are just assets to compliments the head mold itself. You can give her the same name, and the same personality but she will never be the same girl, never. Not saying that you can't change the head, but that means you will be getting a whole new girl.

My fiance and I are more resin oriented; and I don't feel I do all the things a DD owner would with her despite my 'nerdier' hobbies. I'll go on here, or figure FM and see everyone doing such lovely and fun things with their DD girls and I just feel awful; like she'd be so much happier with someone like that.

Aww, don't worry about that! Every one enjoys things in different ways...

I started off with resin bjds too, and I treat my DDs the same way... I dress them up, pose them, sit them down somewhere and look at them...

 

I agree with the others about trying different wigs/eyes/clothes. It really can make a big difference. I was switching everyone's wigs around one day (that was lots of fun) and it's amazing how some wigs suit one doll really well and others not at all!

 

Maybe you can get her a tsundere/pouty SQlabs girl to be her friend--that way she's not lonely being the only DD, and you will have the tsundere girl you've been wanting ^^

 

In my opinion, if you are going to change the head itself to a different head, that is a whole new girl. Truthfully, you are mainly just bonding with the head mold. Faceup, wigs, eyes and clothes are just assets to compliments the head mold itself. You can give her the same name, and the same personality but she will never be the same girl, never. Not saying that you can't change the head, but that means you will be getting a whole new girl.

 

That's actually another thing that's been bugging me. My fiance and I had this discussion a while ago about one of his resin girls. But at the same time, I don't really feel like her character's even taken shape yet, so I don't know how I should feel about swapping out the head--as I agree with you. The head is the pain part of a doll to me.

Aww, don't worry about that! Every one enjoys things in different ways...

I started off with resin bjds too, and I treat my DDs the same way... I dress them up, pose them, sit them down somewhere and look at them...

 

I agree with the others about trying different wigs/eyes/clothes. It really can make a big difference. I was switching everyone's wigs around one day (that was lots of fun) and it's amazing how some wigs suit one doll really well and others not at all!

 

Maybe you can get her a tsundere/pouty SQlabs girl to be her friend--that way she's not lonely being the only DD, and you will have the tsundere girl you've been wanting ^^

 

I would love to get the SQ Lab head its own body--but I really just don't have the money; I'd be waiting at least two years at this rate. My fiance and I just moved last year, we're moving again this month, and then again (to Florida from Pennsylvania now) shortly after that. And around that time my pay back for my student loans start to kick in. Oh how I would love to just have two MDD girls, hahahah. It might be worth the wait, though...

Ahhh, I really appreciate everyone's help and support here. I do. (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

I've been taking her out more--I even took her to come with us to see the new apartment we'll be moving into this month. I haven't changed her eyes yet--and I have her put back into the default wig she came with. I've bought her two wigs and neither of them work for her. I think I will look for a wig similar to this one in length, and look into getting her some new eyes as well soon.

 

She enjoyed sitting in the cup holder. Hahahah.

 

I had problems to bond with some of my girls, but I always try what Juu-Yuki says. I try with new eyes, wigs or in some cases, sending them for a new face-up.

 

I've sold 3 of my girls, I've not bonded with, and I feel sad about rehoming them, but I know that all girls are now happy with their new families. 2 of them are with 2 good friends of mine, so I'm more happy too ^^

 

After a year having Mashiro (Momo) I've bonded with her a month ago or so, when I found the perfect eyes + wig combo for her. Once I found the combination, I knew how would be her personality

 

Now I have problems to bond to Airi, I like her so much, I've repainted her, I change her eyes and wigs lots of times, but I dont feel the "click". Anyway I'm going to try more times untill I bond with her. ^^

 

Trying wigs and eyes to bond with my girls is a problem for me, because now I have a lots of eyes and more than 50 different wigs for my girls.

 

That's good your girls went to people you trust. ; u ;

Hearing things like this cheer me up, and give me hope for myself and Calliope. Hahah. However, I don't know if I can bring myself to change the faceup or eyes that came with Calliope--I kind of wanted to keep the full Rena set as is. I don't ever intend on selling her for profit or anything, by any means. But should things not work out, I would feel better selling her as her original set. I also kind of have a thing for not changing things when bought--I'm addicted to getting sets. Maybe that's why I can't connect with her? I see her more as the Rena Volks put out rather than the character I wanted out of a MDD? I didn't think about this before...