You have a DD but does your wife know?

her brother is into games and some anime, and he would over sexualize them. He would get all excited about getting certain characters naked and it would really creep her out. So she has this biased opinion that formulated from that experience that she feels it's shady and sexual. The only other person shes ever dealt with that was into games and anime was her brother before she met me. Introducing her to my friends has helped some. Its shown were not all creepy sexual perverts. It's a baby step kinda thing i gotta do.

 

On this point Super Dollfies are more anatomically correct, but DDs less so. So rather DD than SD for him.

That seems like a good idea. What kind of anime has she been exposed to that she thinks it's all perverted?

 

Most of modern anime is full of panty shots, nudity and sexual innuendo, and some even have incest and lolita complex stuff. I can easily understand how someone could get that negative opinion of anime.

I agree. Modern anime seems out to top the last show's extreme content.

 

Things were fine until I found out he had resin girls hidden.

You have a DD but does your wife know?

 

But what if the wife is a DD.....?

 

My wife is not a DD though.... she's an SD. I kid.

I think that re-introducing your wife to anime at the con was a good start. The anime I am into is "mainstream" and rarely overtly sexual, and I find the stories captivating and intriguing. I think there are plenty you could find to watch together if you wanted to. It's a shame that her opinions of it are based mostly on what she knows from her brother's creepy behaviour.

I think what I'm gonna do is when we move and i have the space for a room for my things(man cave) I'll display my dollfie with those things so it wont come off as oddly. I think just going up to her and saying "Here's my anatomically correct Japanese anime styled 1/3 scale customizable action doll!" would freak her out. If i place it out with all my other figurines I believe it will be easier to explain and come off less as something sexual.

That sounds like a good way to start too. And buy some of the larger figurines, so your DD doesn't stand out as much.

 

To show the perspective of my opinions, I was married for 7 years, and my hubby always knew I had dolls (though BJDs didn't exist at the time). And he did like action figures, so he could at least understand the appeal of the dolls for me. He also had his own hobbies, some of which we shared and some we didn't. We talked about budgeting for hobbies a lot. But I liked that he had his own interests, and we made it a point to give each other "me time" when we needed it. I did introduce him to one of my BJDs, and he was totally creeped out. I imagine he could have gradually gotten used to it if he lived with them. He eventually might have thought of them as giant action figures. LOL! I'm sure I would have fewer of them today if I was still married, though.

 

Good luck!

Linda S.

galatia9

I think if you were to go down the introducing to anime route Studio Ghibli could be a good way to go, nothing remotely sexual I would say (except possibly Pom Poko with the male racoon...bits XD) plus they're just gorgeous films to watch.

 

From my female perspective of my first discovery of DDs I can say I was intimidated. If my hubby were to have owned one I'd be more insecure of how perfect the DD looked and feel I wouldn't ever match that. Now though after being in the hobby with resins and loving Marvel and DC women I can totally see the appeal in the appearance XD.

 

I think making it clear why you like dolls and the DD aesthetic in particular could definitely alleviate some fears, maybe introduce her to the other kinds of bjd out there and all the different sizes (maybe that might encourage her to want her own) so she doesn't feel it's just (to put it crudely) 'a load of men getting their rocks off over anime dolls' and it's just personal preference for you. Not to mention showing her the bjd community will prove being over 20 and playing with dolls is more common than she could have thought.

 

I know it's probably a hard subject to broach, but as others have said she wouldn't have married you if she didn't love you as you are.

i know its been a while since this has been discussed but there is an update on the situation.

 

after my wife started attending a handful of anime conventions with me she was intrigued by the cosplay feature of it all(granted she is not at all a fan of some of the female cosplays, but its a positive step i guess) so she decided she wanted to do it as well.

 

after she did her second cosplay and was intrigued by an attack on titan cosplayers outfit she mentioned she wouldnt mind sitting down to try and finally watch an anime(specifically aot) to see if maybe she could push her opinions(absolute disgust with anime) aside for at least that one specific show. as such i have been working on obtaining the full set of aot at a reasonable price. at the same time i brought up how i have cosplay figurines(my house lingo for dollfie dreams) that i could get an aot outfit for one of them and she could wear her scout outfit as well with it in its scout uniform to help catch peoples eyes. so i introduced leena to her. the reaction was kind of a bland "oh, thats neat" and it wasnt talked about again. so at this point im feeling comfortable enough to leave the girls out as ive grown tired of leaving them in their boxes away from everyone and not being able to enjoy them.

 

so far its okay, there has been some...disagreements...over why i own such things. typically tho she doesnt even acknowledge them unless shes rearing for a fight. its almost the same with my character figurine collection except she gets a little more hostile over the dd.

 

to sum it up its kind of what i expected from her tho. the outbursts have seem to slowed for the most part as its been a min since shes complained about the girls, besides, she will find things to call me out on like video games, watching anime/dr.who/star trek/geek based shows, or reading mangas and comics. but i think ive distracted her even more with the fact that ive taken on 3 of my project cars finally and now she has that to litter my earholes with noise

 

i mostly wanted you all to know how the reveal went and to thank you all for the help!

 

and also, even tho i do love my wife and plan on staying around as long as she keeps me haha, i wouldnt advise anyone else to engage in a relationship with someone who has an almost absolute disdain for a hobby you love. no matter what that hobby be.

 

I know it's probably a hard subject to broach, but as others have said she wouldn't have married you if she didn't love you as you are.

 

it was pretty difficult to finally talk about as i was mostly concerned about the reaction, and honostly some of the wild accusations caused by insecurities she has have gotten pretty intense to the point of threats, but i think you're right in that, and that itll probably take some time before it becomes a non-issue. the biggest thing is i guess just not having tons of outfits sent to my house as she found the small box i keep some of their outfits in and flipped cuz she thinks its weird to have different clothes for them

i know its been a while since this has been discussed but there is an update on the situation.

 

after my wife started attending a handful of anime conventions with me she was intrigued by the cosplay feature of it all(granted she is not at all a fan of some of the female cosplays, but its a positive step i guess) so she decided she wanted to do it as well.

 

after she did her second cosplay and was intrigued by an attack on titan cosplayers outfit she mentioned she wouldnt mind sitting down to try and finally watch an anime(specifically aot) to see if maybe she could push her opinions(absolute disgust with anime) aside for at least that one specific show. as such i have been working on obtaining the full set of aot at a reasonable price. at the same time i brought up how i have cosplay figurines(my house lingo for dollfie dreams) that i could get an aot outfit for one of them and she could wear her scout outfit as well with it in its scout uniform to help catch peoples eyes. so i introduced leena to her. the reaction was kind of a bland "oh, thats neat" and it wasnt talked about again. so at this point im feeling comfortable enough to leave the girls out as ive grown tired of leaving them in their boxes away from everyone and not being able to enjoy them.

 

so far its okay, there has been some...disagreements...over why i own such things. typically tho she doesnt even acknowledge them unless shes rearing for a fight. its almost the same with my character figurine collection except she gets a little more hostile over the dd.

 

to sum it up its kind of what i expected from her tho. the outbursts have seem to slowed for the most part as its been a min since shes complained about the girls, besides, she will find things to call me out on like video games, watching anime/dr.who/star trek/geek based shows, or reading mangas and comics. but i think ive distracted her even more with the fact that ive taken on 3 of my project cars finally and now she has that to litter my earholes with noise

 

i mostly wanted you all to know how the reveal went and to thank you all for the help!

 

and also, even tho i do love my wife and plan on staying around as long as she keeps me haha, i wouldnt advise anyone else to engage in a relationship with someone who has an almost absolute disdain for a hobby you love. no matter what that hobby be.

 

I know it's probably a hard subject to broach, but as others have said she wouldn't have married you if she didn't love you as you are.

 

it was pretty difficult to finally talk about as i was mostly concerned about the reaction, and honostly some of the wild accusations caused by insecurities she has have gotten pretty intense to the point of threats, but i think you're right in that, and that itll probably take some time before it becomes a non-issue. the biggest thing is i guess just not having tons of outfits sent to my house as she found the small box i keep some of their outfits in and flipped cuz she thinks its weird to have different clothes for them

 

It's good you finally told her-- and even better that you can finally keep them out so you can enjoy them often. It must be a big weight off your shoulders now. It's a bit sad to hear she complains about any of your hobbies (including cars) when she's annoyed. Hopefully it isn't a common occurrence.

 

It's nice that she's willing to attend conventions with you-- and cosplay as well! I think the only time I've asked my husband to go along was when I needed help selling. (Although he'd go along with me otherwise if I'd ask).

 

I was pretty upfront about my hobbies when my husband and I started dating. I didn't want to hide anything since I didn't want it to be an issue in the future. He's extremely accepting even though we have really different hobbies (he likes cars, technology and photography...).

i know its been a while since this has been discussed but there is an update on the situation.

 

after my wife started attending a handful of anime conventions with me she was intrigued by the cosplay feature of it all(granted she is not at all a fan of some of the female cosplays, but its a positive step i guess) so she decided she wanted to do it as well.

 

after she did her second cosplay and was intrigued by an attack on titan cosplayers outfit she mentioned she wouldnt mind sitting down to try and finally watch an anime(specifically aot) to see if maybe she could push her opinions(absolute disgust with anime) aside for at least that one specific show. as such i have been working on obtaining the full set of aot at a reasonable price. at the same time i brought up how i have cosplay figurines(my house lingo for dollfie dreams) that i could get an aot outfit for one of them and she could wear her scout outfit as well with it in its scout uniform to help catch peoples eyes. so i introduced leena to her. the reaction was kind of a bland "oh, thats neat" and it wasnt talked about again. so at this point im feeling comfortable enough to leave the girls out as ive grown tired of leaving them in their boxes away from everyone and not being able to enjoy them.

 

so far its okay, there has been some...disagreements...over why i own such things. typically tho she doesnt even acknowledge them unless shes rearing for a fight. its almost the same with my character figurine collection except she gets a little more hostile over the dd.

 

to sum it up its kind of what i expected from her tho. the outbursts have seem to slowed for the most part as its been a min since shes complained about the girls, besides, she will find things to call me out on like video games, watching anime/dr.who/star trek/geek based shows, or reading mangas and comics. but i think ive distracted her even more with the fact that ive taken on 3 of my project cars finally and now she has that to litter my earholes with noise

 

i mostly wanted you all to know how the reveal went and to thank you all for the help!

 

and also, even tho i do love my wife and plan on staying around as long as she keeps me haha, i wouldnt advise anyone else to engage in a relationship with someone who has an almost absolute disdain for a hobby you love. no matter what that hobby be.

 

I know it's probably a hard subject to broach, but as others have said she wouldn't have married you if she didn't love you as you are.

 

it was pretty difficult to finally talk about as i was mostly concerned about the reaction, and honostly some of the wild accusations caused by insecurities she has have gotten pretty intense to the point of threats, but i think you're right in that, and that itll probably take some time before it becomes a non-issue. the biggest thing is i guess just not having tons of outfits sent to my house as she found the small box i keep some of their outfits in and flipped cuz she thinks its weird to have different clothes for them

 

 

Glad to hear the good news ! I recall you telling me about your scenario at a con. I hope she opens up even more.

I know I'm very lucky to be with someone that loves all the same things but I do think that in every relationship you have to learn to be accepting of your other half's interests. It sounds like she's trying at least which is really good news. I can't see her liking anything moe or with ecchi elements but with so much anime there has to be a few shows she'll actually enjoy.

 

Maybe have a look at some of these and see if she might be interested?

Monster (thriller with amazing plot and characters)

Ghost in the Shell: SAC (Sci-fi action/thriller with great plot/characters)

Nodame Cantabile (romantic comedy with classical music)

Psycho-Pass (Sci-fi action/thriller with great plot/characters)

Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood

 

Also there's the Studio Ghibli movies which are kinda like Disney Movies. Pretty much everyone likes them.

Anything by Makoto Shinkai is just super beautiful and hard not to like if even just for the eye candy.

 

Also you could try Perfect Blue which is what Black Swan is ripped from.

Someone once said that the difference between children and adults is adults have more expensive toys. Granted lots of people go through a phase where they consciously reject association with anything they perceive as childish in order to reassure themselves they are adults, and I have known people who never outgrew that phase.

 

I don't think it would go over well if she found out her husband had a hobby that most would think is just perversion or creepy.

 

Just an observation, but I don't think most would call it perverse or creepy unless you are doing perverse things to your doll of course. While we may primarily associate dolls with young girls in the USA they're also regarded as works of art and collectibles by adults, and Dollfie are much more works of art than child's toys. Nowadays they even have action figures that are made specifically for adult collectors, so I think it's no more abnormal for an anime fan to have a DD than for a James Bond fan to have a collection of James Bond action figures.

 

Granted there are small minded people who will seize on any chance to give someone a hard time, and a guy with a doll can make an easy target.

 

Unless you look like this in which case apparently they give you a wide berth...

viewtopic.php?f=46&t=11853&start=70#p171660

(I still think it's Saber they are frightened of not Billy.)

Someone once said that the difference between children and adults is adults have more expensive toys. Granted lots of people go through a phase where they consciously reject association with anything they perceive as childish in order to reassure themselves they are adults, and I have known people who never outgrew that phase.

 

I don't think it would go over well if she found out her husband had a hobby that most would think is just perversion or creepy.

 

Just an observation, but I don't think most would call it perverse or creepy unless you are doing perverse things to your doll of course. While we may primarily associate dolls with young girls in the USA they're also regarded as works of art and collectibles by adults, and Dollfie are much more works of art than child's toys. Nowadays they even have action figures that are made specifically for adult collectors, so I think it's no more abnormal for an anime fan to have a DD than for a James Bond fan to have a collection of James Bond action figures.

 

Granted there are small minded people who will seize on any chance to give someone a hard time, and a guy with a doll can make an easy target.

 

Unless you look like this in which case apparently they give you a wide berth...

viewtopic.php?f=46&t=11853&start=70#p171660

(I still think it's Saber they are frightened of not Billy.)

 

Haha nice.

 

No she did immediately shoot towards that due to them being feminine, having ample bosoms and that was fully clothed. Typical outfits are bra, panty, skirt, stockings, t shirt an heels. The shirts I have for them aren't keyhole or low cut either. I do have some outfits that don't really get worn much such as a sexy-ish Christmas outfit, but that's far from the norm of what the girls typically wear.

 

Her experience with any things anime has been with family members who were into anime style things took it to the deep end of the perversion pool, which is fine and dandy if you keep it to yourself or with people who are cool with it. But that is what she was exposed to so it's an abnormal thing to her. Also she is very much a "grown-ups act this way" person which is part of the struggle, but with the cosplaying in an almost full swing it's receded slightly as now she has started to see it from my side as certain people she knows have also started questioning the cosplay she has suddenly picked up. But at the same time it has helped her make new friends who are also into similar things. Again I just feel it's a long process, too much pressure and it'll snap and she'll avoid it forever, if it's just left at a slow pace eventually she will enjoy it perhaps almost as much as I do.

 

...the more I think about this I feel were all part of one big giant cult hahaha

There is a lot of anime that proves that toilet humor is as prevalent in Japan as it is here, but there is also a lot of anime that is just the opposite.

 

I know Ghibli was suggested, but you might also consider the following.

 

Aria the Animation. Assuming you are ok with shows that aren't action driven. Aria is a slice of life show so it has no strong central plot. The show is about a girl training to become a gondolier (on Mars in the distant future) and each episode tends to be focused on the wonder of life. It's extremely well done, has zero toilet humor, but if you want action and suspense in your films it would bore you to death. I have a friend who describes Aria as "the most soothing anime she has ever seen."

 

She and Her Cat & Voices of a Distant Star, both by Makoto Shinkai, and both come on the same blu-ray. The first is a short film, and the second is a half hour sci-fi film with a fair amount of action. Both films are amazing, and push the boundaries of the degree of cinematic realism possible with animation. Shinkai was for awhile expected to be the spiritual successor of Miyazaki in the world of anime.

 

K-On. K-On is basically about 4 high school girls who form a rock band. This is also a slice of life show, but is faster paced than Aria. K-On has some sexual humor, but much less so than most American comedy films. Like Aria it has no strong central plot beyond making it through school.

 

You might also try Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny. It's a very action driven giant robot anime. As far as I can tell nothing perverse in the series. It's all about politics, warfare, and intrigue.

...the more I think about this I feel were all part of one big giant cult hahaha

 

One of us, one of us...

 

EDIT: Dangit my filter didn't work on me this time. XD If your wife wants to see that there are perfectly normal women in the hobby too, we can plan a meet up and you can bring her along! :3 I'll bring Nia, the power of her moe can bring anyone to their knees.

My husband knows about my dolls, my fondness for anime and manga, and all my other so called weird hobbies. He refers to my DD as my "Busty Ladies" and thinks they're funny. But I do get a lot of flack from other women teasing me about them.

 

In any meaningful relationship it's very important to be open about your likes & dislikes. Even if your partner or friends or family think you're a little weird for it, in my experience it passed quickly and you'll be accepted no matter what. I'm glad the OP was able to talk to his wife about his DD. Who knows? Maybe one day she'll find one that's so cute she wants it for herself

 

Oh, and I highly recommend Non Non Biyori as a wonderful, smart, heart warming slice of life anime that doesn't have any fan service. It's just a great show that makes you feel a lot of feels and laugh out loud.

Hey Beretta! We met (and DivinitaAria was there) at the 2014 Ohayocon. I think I had my 06 and 04 at the time and she had her Rise. I'm glad to hear you are making progress with acceptance. I remember how anxious you were.

 

EDIT: Dangit my filter didn't work on me this time. XD If your wife wants to see that there are perfectly normal women in the hobby too, we can plan a meet up and you can bring her along! :3 I'll bring Nia, the power of her moe can bring anyone to their knees.

 

Definitely this as well... Another Ohayocon meetup too maybe?

Maybe one day she'll find one that's so cute she wants it for herself

 

If not the DDs you could always see if she is into the Super Dollfie. The Volks USA Online Full Choice System is pretty cool.

Maybe one day she'll find one that's so cute she wants it for herself

 

If not the DDs you could always see if she is into the Super Dollfie. The Volks USA Online Full Choice System is pretty cool.

 

That's a really good idea, Wolf. Many people who cannot see the beauty of Dollfie Dreams can understand Super Dollfie as they appear to be more traditional and have a wide variety of looks- many of which are not overly sexualized. Just beware... once you get someone hooked on Dollfie the collecting begins!

My ex-fiance supported my hobby, and since he plays Warhammer, he used to joke saying I still play with dolls and he still plays with army men, lol! Given how much money he spent on his hobbies, he didn't bug me about the prices of my dolls.

 

That being saaaaaaaaaaaaid...

 

I never told the last guy I dated how much they cost and he didn't want to see them, and the my most recent relationship was short and I never got up the guts to tell her about my "unique" hobby, hahaha. At what point do you tell someone that you have such a hobby? o_O

Everyone I've dated (including those I only dated briefly) knew about my BJD hobby. I've been collecting BJDs for almost 10 years and started collecting DDs this year. I don't think it's a good idea to hide it even in the earlier stages but that could just be my way of dealing. If they're not into it (a girl once had me hide dolls in the closet because they irked her) then they're not into it and if you want to be with them anyway at least you know going in and can figure something out. I don't think anyone wants to find out that someone they've been dating a while, never mind someone they're married to, has been keeping secrets from them. If you're hiding your doll hobby, it could just make someone wonder what else you're hiding! D:

 

I've been lucky enough that my partner and I both enjoy collecting BJDs and DDs so it's something fun that we can do together and plan with each other. I can't imagine trying to do any of this in secret. ):

Yes my wife knows. My wife bought me Melty and has helped me create Merry and encouraged me to buy Miku and Snow Miku. She is a bad influence. ^^;

i actually have a problem with my mom she lives with me and some times she makes remarks about me having a doll i mean im mexican and just by that fact my mom thinks that if i have a doll it means im gay witch im not i just really love dollfies and if i where you i would tell her if she loves you she will respect it and will like them too good luck

i actually have a problem with my mom she lives with me and some times she makes remarks about me having a doll i mean im mexican and just by that fact my mom thinks that if i have a doll it means im gay witch im not i just really love dollfies and if i where you i would tell her if she loves you she will respect it and will like them too good luck

 

Sorry to hear that about your mom's feelings.

 

She knows now. She doesn't care for the dollfies but she only tends to bring up her dislike of them when she is angry with me. So for the most part the girls are fine but I still have to have my packages delivered to my parents home as she hates the fact I have different outfits for them and continue to obtain more for them.

 

Hang in there, maybe you'll meet a sweet girl (if you haven't already that is) who will adore your girl(s) as well and then you can kind of be a little smug about it with your mother lol.

well we have got in to it with my mom but that will not be the reason i leave my girl shes a maid up yoko and she gives me hope and comfort on my hard times my friend im sure you fell the same way about youre girls

How would one go about hiding a DD or a collection of DDs from one's wife/husband?

 

I mean, Dollfies aren't exactly very concealable. And then there's the packages arriving with body stockings, wigs, doll clothes... Assuming you're cohabiting, what lengths would one have to go to to conceal the secret? It'd be harder to cover up than an affair. (*sniff* Is that... *sniff* is that wig spray I smell? You've been spending time with that plastic hussy again! Just because she's literally one third my size! God, and to think I trusted you!)

 

Sorry to ask something so obvious, but it's confusing me.

 

For my part, my partner's as deep into this as I am so this has never been something I've had to be concerned with.