A Dollfie Dream Falling Out/Not Bonding?

I've seen some people talk about this before, maybe with one of their dolls or just with the entire hobby itself.

I think I'm experiencing a fall out with my WS Alna, even though she is still just a head, I think I rushed into buying her when I got my first job since I really wanted to get into the doll hobby. But, anyway, to the point, I feel like I can't bond with my Alna and the character I thought of for her just doesn't interest me and the other possibilities I'd like for a character, just wouldn't go with her because of how she looks and such. I think she is a beautiful sculpt but just…there's something awkward with me and her sometimes. I know she's not a real person or anything like that but I view these dolls as really special, that I can have fun with creating their character and even smile and maybe even laugh by poses I put them in or clothes they try on, etc. But with my Alna, though sweet and beautiful, I can't see myself having too much fun with her. I see her character as being really girly, or wearing beautiful dresses, etc and that's just not the kind of characters that I tend to enjoy, to be honest. I see so many other people do that and it gets really old for me. I'm thinking of selling her but something keeps stopping me. I love her face so much but I don't feel right owning her because I know I probably won't be able to do anything for her or love her as much as someone else might.

Have you guys not been able to bond with a doll before? Or have you fallen out with a doll before? Feel free to share your experiences. And do you guys think that it is wrong to feel this way or do you think it is something that just happens sometimes? I just feel super bad for buying my WS Alna and having second thoughts like this, and like I said, even though she isn't a real person, I feel like I'm being unfair to her or feeling something really wrong…

(Edit: I am selling her. She needs to go to a home that is for sure that they will love her and keep her and dress her etc. Thank you guys for all the support. 🙂 )

Edited March 21, 2019 by Pickle

Everyone has different opinions, but I actually think that Alna is a more versatile mold and she can adapt to a lot of different styles easily. I've seen that most people tend to make their Alna more girly, but then I've seen an Alna like littlebearries' in this picture: and (to me) it's like she's an entirely new girl.

 

That's what I like about Alna, a change of eyes and wig... And she is so completely different, yet still beautiful, every time. If you go on Flickr and type in "dollfie Alna" you will see so many different Alna girls. Maybe it is a possibility that you are not bonding with your Alna because she is not complete yet?

 

However, I have lost bonds with my dolls before. My first doll was a custom 01 head. I loved her very much at first, she was my most favorite possession. After I got my #1 holy grail doll (Sasara Kusugawa), I slowly lost interest in my 01. It made me feel bad. I stopped loving the first girl I had, and that I had with me for a while. I kept her head in a box for a very long time. I did not feel the same way about her, but I was not ready to let her go. Eventually, I decided to sell her because I knew someone else would love her more than I did.

 

I lost bond with another doll, but for different reason. After I had my Sasara, my (now) ex-boyfriend won me Moe version 2 from the lottery. When we broke up, it was a really bad break up, and I found that it started to reflect on my doll. I hated looking at her, I hated having her in my room. Yet in my heart I still loved her because she was mine. Eventually I had to sell her because she was making me unhappy, and I knew that someone out there would love her as much as I once had.

 

I don't think it is wrong to feel that way, and I think it's just something that can happen. Maybe Alna is not the girl for you, but I think that she has a lot of potential and maybe you will feel differently once you have her all put together. If you do make her in the style you want, yours will be one of the few less-girly Alna out there. Don't feel too bad about it, if she is really not the one for you, I'm sure someone else will love her very much.

I often find it hard to bond with a doll when they are in an incomplete state--in need of clothes, face-up, a body... or in some cases just when I don't like their style (outfit etc) anymore! Once I get them nicely styled again, everything is good ^_^ The only times I've "given up" on a doll so far is when the sculpt isn't one I chose or particularly wanted. That happened with a tiny BJD I got during during a company event, and with unwanted heads that came with bodies I ordered.

 

I had a little trouble with one of my 01 girls. I liked her face up and thought she was very cute (but in need of better clothes), but for some reason I wasn't bonding well with her and kept thinking maybe I should sell her. I was actually thinking of selling her and using that money to buy another 01 MDD! I realized how ridiculous a trade off that was, and just wiped her cute face-up and restyled and renamed her. Now she's the 01 I always wanted and I'm so happy with her ^^

 

In your case, I would suggest finishing your Alna and then deciding whether you are happy with her or not. It's hard for some folks to bond with just a doll head, you might feel better about her with her completed.

Personally so far I have never failed to eventually bond with any of my dolls, though in a couple of cases it has taken a year or two to get there. Sometimes bonding or not is just a matter of the wrong wig or eyes or outfit, or sometimes it's more difficult to fix, like a faceup. All of my basic heads (01, 03, 06) were painted by me. The only one that I kept the original faceup on is my 01 Mitsuki. Even though it's amateurish I really love her and wouldn't want to mess anything up for a supposed improvement. But my 03 and 06 are both on their third faceups. I actually hated my 06 for a little while til I changed her first faceup to her second. Then her sealant got wonky and I redid it again, and now she's one of my favorites. That took about two years, while my faceup skills improved.

 

When I got my twins in, Eliana and Selena (Saber and Saber Alter), I wanted Eliana to have the black hair and Selena the white. That's how they looked in their introduction pictures. But it turned out I hated them that way, but switching their wigs improved it. Recently I had custom eyes made for them, and I am jow much much happier with them than I was when they came to me in September 2012.

 

My first girl Ayano, my 03, was on a DDdy body so that she'd be a sexy babe. But she asserted a personality that prefers knee length skirts and the color brown (which I personally hate but like it when she wears it). Even though she somewhat disappointed me on that one, I still love her and I've accepted that I need to adopt a girl with a more aggressive personality at some point to be my sexy bombshell.

 

And finally, the question mark in my signature has been a struggle for a while now. I purchased that head over a year ago but struggled to get the details to match what I originally pictured, so much that I haven't even introduced them yet. I have finally just recently gotten it together and intend to do the introduction soon.

 

At no point did I ever even consider selling any of them due to lack of bonding. I knew that if I loved them enough to have bought them in the first place, that I would eventually be able to get them into a combination I was really happy with. But I also understand that some people don't have that kind of patience, or just don't want to invest so much time in something they're unsure of. I would recommend waiting at least until you have a body, though. A head alone is very difficult to really bond with, since you don't even have their clothing and body language there.

Arienette said:

Maybe Alna is not the girl for you, but I think that she has a lot of potential and maybe you will feel differently once you have her all put together

Yukamina said:

In your case, I would suggest finishing your Alna and then deciding whether you are happy with her or not. It's hard for some folks to bond with just a doll head, you might feel better about her with her completed.

Jezrah said:

I would recommend waiting at least until you have a body, though. A head alone is very difficult to really bond with, since you don't even have their clothing and body language there.

I know you guys personally think I should have a body before I make any hasty decisions whether or not to sell or not sell her, but I really can't afford to just throw my money into a DD body like that fully knowing that a part of me feels like it doesn't want Alna at all. D8 I really feel like a part of me just rushed into it and asked a lot of people if they thought she was cute to reassure my doubts and I feel like I bought her out of my own opinion but out of other people's opinions as well. I feel like she might have been an impulse buy in a way even though I do like her. It's just, I've looked up a lot of different items for her and everything like that, it just doesn't seem to click. With my Miu, I already have prepared to get her to a face-up artist, already bought her a wig and a custom made amigurumi that's supposed to be her stuffed animal. I already feel like I'm going to bond with her just fine and her character is so clear to me. But Alna has been so sketchy to me since the day I got her and that was about a month or so ago. 😞 I feel like if I'm getting a doll and spending the money on the doll, that I should enjoy it right away, and not be so iffy on it. Some people can pull off some awesome outfits, etc with their dolls but with Alna, I really see no way of doing it. Some people I've seen have done an alright job but nothing that has really WOWED me. Also, what has been running through my mind was the money I would save if I did sell Alna and just concentrated on my Miu for a bit. It's just a weird thing. I really don't want to get a body and waste all that money just to find out my bad feelings in the back of my head were right and then me struggling to find a person to buy the body from me for a lower price. DDDDX

It's just so confusing. Another part of me thinks she is beautiful, and I know she is but agh. Nothing seems to really fit her face when it comes to clothes. It's like, she's better off as an empty face to me because nothing else seems to fit her without making her look too old, too flippin' feminine/girly or having her body be too young looking for what she looks like to me. There never seems to be a good balance for her. DX I feel like if the doll is going to be this difficult that I'm not going to enjoy having her at all, even if by some miracle I do find something that fits her. I probably wouldn't even care by the time that would happen. 😞

So in general, I'm conflicted but I am leaning on selling her…D:

Edited March 21, 2019 by Pickle

Yes. I sold my Mikuru after feeling as though I wasn't bonding with her.

 

Big mistake. I want Mikuru back

 

Don't feel bad about not bonding with Alna. I know how you feel, but remind yourself that she's just a hunk of vinyl

DivinitaAria said:

Yes. I sold my Mikuru after feeling as though I wasn't bonding with her.

 

Big mistake. I want Mikuru back

 

Don't feel bad about not bonding with Alna. I know how you feel, but remind yourself that she's just a hunk of vinyl

I'm sorry that you went through that. I've just been thinking on this for awhile. I thought about it last week then just said I was gonna keep her, then the thoughts are coming back about selling her. It's just been a big stressor and I want to have dolls to enjoy them, not for them to give me stress. I already have enough of that in my life. DX

Yeah, she is just a huge chunk of vinyl. But I guess in my messed up head I feel like she has feelings. DX

But thank you for the reassuring comment. 🙂

Edited March 21, 2019 by Pickle

I'm in agreement with everyone else, wait until she's all together before you think you need to get rid of her...

 

Her final character might be entirely different from what you've envisioned, but, then again, her difference might just make you want to keep her even more!

 

Give the kiddo a chance!

battrastard said:

Give the kiddo a chance!

Trust me, I've been thinking on this for awhile. 😞

I posted a response to everyone's feelings on getting a body a few posts back. So I will just advise that you go ahead and read it, if you have the time. But, in general, I don't want to waste money on getting a body then find out my bad feelings were right and then struggle to find a person to buy the body + head from me. It'd be terrible. I can't just spend willy nilly like that on a "maybe" kind of feeling. 😧 I'm not a person that likes doing risks like that.

Edited March 21, 2019 by Pickle

If getting a spare doll body would be a struggle, then it sounds to me like you've already made up your mind. You want to sell the Alna head.

 

If later on you find yourself wishing you had Alna after all, then you can always repurchase Alna again when you're more enthusiastic about her. Seems pretty straightforward.

 

If you're worried about price differential in the future, don't be. Even if Alna were to appreciate further in cost and you decided you wanted her back, the difference between the sale price and the re-buy price will be miniscule compared to what getting some units of stress and uncertainty out of your life for the immediate term is worth.

 

For your case, sell the head and don't look back.

I myself have not experienced this, but a friend of mine did. She got Sakuya, who at the time she bought her was one of her dream dolls. She had hyped her for a long while and bought her from Mandarake while she was in Japan.

She was so happy to finally own her, but they just didn't bond. My friend tried different eyes, wigs, styles, names and personalities for her. But nothing got stuck. ):

Really happy it haven't happened me yet....

I'm rather on the fence about the whole hobby, while waiting for my first girl to be dressed. I have bought a few bits and pieces to make a second girl, but she isn't complete, and she'll probably take another few months to get an outfit for, too. I do really hope once I get my first girl back fully dressed, I'll be able to really love her. I certainly like many photos of other people's girls, so I am hoping I can bond with mine once they are complete.

I can totally understand not wanting to let a girl go because you're afraid of hurting her feelings. Trust me, I sympathize with that quite a bit. To me DD are not just chunks of plastic because they have a magic about them that makes them more than the sum of their parts.

 

Now, I'm going to go against what I'd normally say, being in the 'finish her first' crowd usually, and give you something to think about. I currently own two girls that had previous owners. One of them I know that the person who sold her felt like they couldn't manage two DD and one of them was getting neglected. They cared for her enough to let her go once they knew that's what they really wanted. They loved her enough to offer her the chance of a happily ever after with someone else. I happened to be that person, and I like to think that I've been able to give her a unique happily ever after. She is very precious to me even more than I know how to express. Whenever I need to do a quick photo of something, I grab my wonderfully photogenic Ellie because she is so easy to photograph. Its also looking like she might even have a boyfriend in the future, much to my surprise.

 

There is one quote from Baldylox that I have personally found to be very true: "All Dollfies have a destiny that is their own. They will all find their parents when fate sees fit."

 

So what does that mean for the girl you're not bonding with? It could be that if you find you truly don't click with her, that you could be a needed foster home on her way to her happily ever after. I very much believe that DD have personalities and destinies of their own, but holding onto one out of guilt isn't fun for either one of you. Not every person and personality are a prefect fit. That's just a fact of life.

 

Even though I am very serious about my DD, this is still a hobby. It should be something that makes you happy, not something to cause a guilt trip because you are afraid of playing the game 'wrong'. When Ravendruid and I started the hobby, we knew that whatever DD came into our home that it was a life sentence. But that's just the kind of people we are. I've also seen other collectors have a higher turnover rate with their girls because it is what makes them happy. Last time I knew there are over 80 DD sculpts, and there are a few in there that I just don't like. It isn't good or bad, it is just the way that I am.

 

No one knows better than yourself what you really want out of the hobby. Finding the right DD girl is a personal choice, so don't feel like you are expected to please other people with who stays in your DD family.

 

~Sister Kyoya

SakuraSylph said:

If getting a spare doll body would be a struggle, then it sounds to me like you've already made up your mind. You want to sell the Alna head.

 

If later on you find yourself wishing you had Alna after all, then you can always repurchase Alna again when you're more enthusiastic about her. Seems pretty straightforward.

 

If you're worried about price differential in the future, don't be. Even if Alna were to appreciate further in cost and you decided you wanted her back, the difference between the sale price and the re-buy price will be miniscule compared to what getting some units of stress and uncertainty out of your life for the immediate term is worth.

 

For your case, sell the head and don't look back.

It's just hard, I know I should sell her. Just her sweet face is like, "No, don't sell me. No." It makes me want to save more just to keep her but I really have a bad feeling that I wouldn't be good for her.

But thank you for the comment. That's kind of how I feel about it, but on the other hand there's a voice inside my head that feels terrible about it. Maybe because I rushed into it and I shouldn't have. 😧

Pahsmina said:

I myself have not experienced this, but a friend of mine did. She got Sakuya, who at the time she bought her was one of her dream dolls. She had hyped her for a long while and bought her from Mandarake while she was in Japan.

She was so happy to finally own her, but they just didn't bond. My friend tried different eyes, wigs, styles, names and personalities for her. But nothing got stuck. 😞

Really happy it haven't happened me yet....

Ah, I see. I'm glad it hasn't happened to you yet. And that really stinks for your friend. I'm sorry to hear that. D8

Eustia said:

I'm rather on the fence about the whole hobby, while waiting for my first girl to be dressed. I have bought a few bits and pieces to make a second girl, but she isn't complete, and she'll probably take another few months to get an outfit for, too. I do really hope once I get my first girl back fully dressed, I'll be able to really love her. I certainly like many photos of other people's girls, so I am hoping I can bond with mine once they are complete.

I wish you the best of luck getting your first girl back fully dressed. I think it'll help you see if you want to stay in the hobby or not once you get her back. 🙂 But if you don't bond, in my opinion, I think that is okay. The hobby isn't for everyone.

Sister Kyoya said:

I can totally understand not wanting to let a girl go because you're afraid of hurting her feelings. Trust me, I sympathize with that quite a bit. To me DD are not just chunks of plastic because they have a magic about them that makes them more than the sum of their parts.

 

Now, I'm going to go against what I'd normally say, being in the 'finish her first' crowd usually, and give you something to think about. I currently own two girls that had previous owners. One of them I know that the person who sold her felt like they couldn't manage two DD and one of them was getting neglected. They cared for her enough to let her go once they knew that's what they really wanted. They loved her enough to offer her the chance of a happily ever after with someone else. I happened to be that person, and I like to think that I've been able to give her a unique happily ever after. She is very precious to me even more than I know how to express. Whenever I need to do a quick photo of something, I grab my wonderfully photogenic Ellie because she is so easy to photograph. Its also looking like she might even have a boyfriend in the future, much to my surprise.

 

There is one quote from Baldylox that I have personally found to be very true: "All Dollfies have a destiny that is their own. They will all find their parents when fate sees fit."

 

So what does that mean for the girl you're not bonding with? It could be that if you find you truly don't click with her, that you could be a needed foster home on her way to her happily ever after. I very much believe that DD have personalities and destinies of their own, but holding onto one out of guilt isn't fun for either one of you. Not every person and personality are a prefect fit. That's just a fact of life.

 

Even though I am very serious about my DD, this is still a hobby. It should be something that makes you happy, not something to cause a guilt trip because you are afraid of playing the game 'wrong'. When Ravendruid and I started the hobby, we knew that whatever DD came into our home that it was a life sentence. But that's just the kind of people we are. I've also seen other collectors have a higher turnover rate with their girls because it is what makes them happy. Last time I knew there are over 80 DD sculpts, and there are a few in there that I just don't like. It isn't good or bad, it is just the way that I am.

 

No one knows better than yourself what you really want out of the hobby. Finding the right DD girl is a personal choice, so don't feel like you are expected to please other people with who stays in your DD family.

 

~Sister Kyoya

Sister Kyoya,

All of what you said just really clicked with me. 🙂 I agree with you on everything and I'm glad you didn't just say "Just finish her" etc.

I'm going to really think on it but personally, I think Alna would be better off with someone else. I can just see myself struggle really hard when it comes to seeing what she would wear, etc.

Thank you so much for your input and stories. It helped a lot. 🙂

I just feel so terrible for rushing into the hobby with her and already not even two months in and already am having second thoughts. Also, it makes me feel terrible since Miu's already getting special treatment where Alna only has her eyes (and head of course) as of right now and that is it.

More than likely though, I'm probably going to sell her and I hope she can find the right home. Someone who can fully enjoy the beauty that she is…it's just going to be hard to let her go...

Edited March 21, 2019 by Pickle

I do have to agree that it is very, very hard to bond with a floating head. I should know, I've had at least one the entire time Raven and I have been in the hobby.

 

But some girls are just really difficult and/or high maintenance. Only you can choose if the 'fight' is worth it or not. My most difficult DD are Dakota, Miss Lottie and Ralph. Dakota is such an outspoken and social personality that I can only figure her out when I'm working on photo sets, something I'm trying to get back into again. Miss Lottie is really wonderful, but because of the nature of her backstory, she almost has no story until I get two or three old photo stories finally put together and explain why she's here before her story can actually begin. Most days it just looks like she's sitting there just waiting for me to get them finished, usually not saying anything, just waiting. I'm so used to my DD being rather pushy in their own ways, barging into my mind unexpectedly. Tamayuki especially seems to enjoy her quiet company, and she definitely has a place in our family but I'll be glad when I won't have to keep asking her to be patient with me. And then there is Ralph... he's such an outright weirdo that he's simply hard to track. Nearly everything he says gives me mental whiplash, and often cracks me up.

 

Don't feel bad about getting so excited about DD that you rushed in a bit more quickly than you expected/intended. Just take it as a learning experience. When or if you get another DD girl you'll have one more aspect to think about beforehand so if you do buy another, she will have a stronger place to fit before she even gets there.

 

~Sister Kyoya

I know you guys personally think I should have a body before I make any hasty decisions whether or not to sell or not sell her, but I really can't afford to just throw my money into a DD body like that fully knowing that a part of me feels like it doesn't want Alna at all.

Ah, I'm sorry, I just gave advice based on what little I knew about your situation and my own experiences. I thought maybe she was your only doll ^^; If you don't have the will or the resources to work on her, then it could be for the best to sell/rehome her and focus on your Miu. I hope you can come to an answer that works best for you.

I can totally understand not wanting to let a girl go because you're afraid of hurting her feelings. Trust me, I sympathize with that quite a bit. To me DD are not just chunks of plastic because they have a magic about them that makes them more than the sum of their parts.

 

THIS. All the way, THIS.

 

I'm of the same opinion no matter what the "real world" says about these dolls. ALL of my girls and those of my friends are their own little people and entities *to me*. When some of mine don't get the attention I think they need, I really do feel bad about it. Of course I shouldn't because they're "just plastic" but screw that noise. These are MY girls and I want them to be HAPPY. Because when they're happy, I'm happy and with a hobby, that's what's important.

 

I currently own two girls that had previous owners. One of them I know that the person who sold her felt like they couldn't manage two DD and one of them was getting neglected. They cared for her enough to let her go once they knew that's what they really wanted. They loved her enough to offer her the chance of a happily ever after with someone else. I happened to be that person, and I like to think that I've been able to give her a unique happily ever after. She is very precious to me even more than I know how to express.

 

And I totally agree with this too. Knowing that a DD isn't going to work out with you and then letting her go on to possibly be where she's supposed to be is the thing to do. It may be hard to let go but if you know deep down things aren't working out, it's best to let her go and make someone else happy.

 

There is one quote from Baldylox that I have personally found to be very true: "All Dollfies have a destiny that is their own. They will all find their parents when fate sees fit." So what does that mean for the girl you're not bonding with? It could be that if you find you truly don't click with her, that you could be a needed foster home on her way to her happily ever after. I very much believe that DD have personalities and destinies of their own, but holding onto one out of guilt isn't fun for either one of you. Not every person and personality are a prefect fit. That's just a fact of life.

 

Heh. *I'M* being quoted? Wow. But it's something I heard from the president of Volks and it really stuck with me. So yes, if you and your girl aren't meshing well, let her find her place in the world with the family she's *supposed* to be in. That way, everyone involved wins..... she gets the family she was destined for, her new owner is happy to have a wonderful girl and you get to know that your girl is happy and making others happy too. All DD's want is to love and be loved...... they're damn good at both.

 

No one knows better than yourself what you really want out of the hobby. Finding the right DD girl is a personal choice, so don't feel like you are expected to please other people with who stays in your DD family.

 

Damn, you're just hitting all the points! Great stuff tho SK, you and I are on the same wavelength on all of this. A hobby is just that, a hobby. It's so you can relax, unwind and HAVE FUN in your spare time. You have a hobby for YOU, not for others. So do what you think and feel is right.

 

 

 

Billy

baldylox said:

Sister Kyoya said:

I can totally understand not wanting to let a girl go because you're afraid of hurting her feelings. Trust me, I sympathize with that quite a bit. To me DD are not just chunks of plastic because they have a magic about them that makes them more than the sum of their parts.

 

THIS. All the way, THIS.

 

I'm of the same opinion no matter what the "real world" says about these dolls. ALL of my girls and those of my friends are their own little people and entities *to me*. When some of mine don't get the attention I think they need, I really do feel bad about it. Of course I shouldn't because they're "just plastic" but screw that noise. These are MY girls and I want them to be HAPPY. Because when they're happy, I'm happy and with a hobby, that's what's important.

 

Quote

I currently own two girls that had previous owners. One of them I know that the person who sold her felt like they couldn't manage two DD and one of them was getting neglected. They cared for her enough to let her go once they knew that's what they really wanted. They loved her enough to offer her the chance of a happily ever after with someone else. I happened to be that person, and I like to think that I've been able to give her a unique happily ever after. She is very precious to me even more than I know how to express.

 

And I totally agree with this too. Knowing that a DD isn't going to work out with you and then letting her go on to possibly be where she's supposed to be is the thing to do. It may be hard to let go but if you know deep down things aren't working out, it's best to let her go and make someone else happy.

 

Quote

There is one quote from Baldylox that I have personally found to be very true: "All Dollfies have a destiny that is their own. They will all find their parents when fate sees fit." So what does that mean for the girl you're not bonding with? It could be that if you find you truly don't click with her, that you could be a needed foster home on her way to her happily ever after. I very much believe that DD have personalities and destinies of their own, but holding onto one out of guilt isn't fun for either one of you. Not every person and personality are a prefect fit. That's just a fact of life.

 

Heh. *I'M* being quoted? Wow. But it's something I heard from the president of Volks and it really stuck with me. So yes, if you and your girl aren't meshing well, let her find her place in the world with the family she's *supposed* to be in. That way, everyone involved wins..... she gets the family she was destined for, her new owner is happy to have a wonderful girl and you get to know that your girl is happy and making others happy too. All DD's want is to love and be loved...... they're damn good at both.

 

Quote

No one knows better than yourself what you really want out of the hobby. Finding the right DD girl is a personal choice, so don't feel like you are expected to please other people with who stays in your DD family.

 

Damn, you're just hitting all the points! Great stuff tho SK, you and I are on the same wavelength on all of this. A hobby is just that, a hobby. It's so you can relax, unwind and HAVE FUN in your spare time. You have a hobby for YOU, not for others. So do what you think and feel is right.

 

 

 

Billy

 

You just made me smile by all the quoting and what you've said. 🙂 I'm so glad another person feels the exact same way. It's reassuring~ : D

I will try my best to do what I want with the hobby. I guess I just get influenced by other people's opinions sometimes. I guess I'm going to think long and hard on future DD purchases. :3

Sister Kyoya said:

I do have to agree that it is very, very hard to bond with a floating head. I should know, I've had at least one the entire time Raven and I have been in the hobby.

 

But some girls are just really difficult and/or high maintenance. Only you can choose if the 'fight' is worth it or not. My most difficult DD are Dakota, Miss Lottie and Ralph. Dakota is such an outspoken and social personality that I can only figure her out when I'm working on photo sets, something I'm trying to get back into again. Miss Lottie is really wonderful, but because of the nature of her backstory, she almost has no story until I get two or three old photo stories finally put together and explain why she's here before her story can actually begin. Most days it just looks like she's sitting there just waiting for me to get them finished, usually not saying anything, just waiting. I'm so used to my DD being rather pushy in their own ways, barging into my mind unexpectedly. Tamayuki especially seems to enjoy her quiet company, and she definitely has a place in our family but I'll be glad when I won't have to keep asking her to be patient with me. And then there is Ralph... he's such an outright weirdo that he's simply hard to track. Nearly everything he says gives me mental whiplash, and often cracks me up.

 

Don't feel bad about getting so excited about DD that you rushed in a bit more quickly than you expected/intended. Just take it as a learning experience. When or if you get another DD girl you'll have one more aspect to think about beforehand so if you do buy another, she will have a stronger place to fit before she even gets there.

 

~Sister Kyoya

I already have another DD girl, my DD Miu, which I plan on making into a MDD. I wanted to make her my little project gal since she needs a lot of TLC, probably another reason I'm not bonding with Alna. I've already bought Miu a wig, custom amigurumi to be her stuffed animal, and (possibly going to buy) donkey slippers. And her head (since that's all I have of her right now) will be sent to a face-up artist this week. Sooooo yup! x3 (But I feel a bit of me has already bonded with Miu even though she is just a floating head with no eyes. XDDDD But *shrugs* that's just me)

Thank you again for your experiences with your own DD. And hehe about Ralph~ :3

I hope you can get more into Miss Lottie's story! Best of luck with that! : D

Yukamina said:

Pickle said:

I know you guys personally think I should have a body before I make any hasty decisions whether or not to sell or not sell her, but I really can't afford to just throw my money into a DD body like that fully knowing that a part of me feels like it doesn't want Alna at all.

Ah, I'm sorry, I just gave advice based on what little I knew about your situation and my own experiences. I thought maybe she was your only doll ^^; If you don't have the will or the resources to work on her, then it could be for the best to sell/rehome her and focus on your Miu. I hope you can come to an answer that works best for you.

I'm most likely going to have to sell Alna. She is beautiful, my heart kind of melts when I see her face but I think trying to find a character and outfits would just be too hard for me. I can't see myself finding the right look for her that I would like, unfortunately. So, yeah. I feel really bad about it but I guess she just might not be the DD that I can work with personally. D8

Edited March 21, 2019 by Pickle

Damn, you're just hitting all the points! Great stuff tho SK, you and I are on the same wavelength on all of this. A hobby is just that, a hobby. It's so you can relax, unwind and HAVE FUN in your spare time. You have a hobby for YOU, not for others. So do what you think and feel is right.

 

Thanks Billy. I know you talking about how you view your own girls over the last couple of years has helped me feel comfortable about how I personally feel about my DD kids, instead of worrying that everyone will point and say "Hey, look at the freak!!" I have some very distinct and deep thoughts on the matter, but have never really gotten into it because I respect those who just enjoy them as big figures. It can be difficult to talk about without getting heavy handed/preachy because it is such an important subject to me. Times like this I'm happy to share some of those feeling when the struggle is more than just a financial one.

 

I already have another DD girl, my DD Miu, which I plan on making into a MDD.

 

The MDD brand of cute is dangerous and addictive. Tamayuki was my first DD and completely stole my heart before anyone else could. You have been warned.

 

Thank you again for your experiences with your own DD. And hehe about Ralph~ :3

 

I'm glad I could be of some help! And if you want to see a little bit of Ralph, here is the only photo story he's been in so far.

 

~Sister Kyoya

Sister Kyoya said:

baldylox said:

Damn, you're just hitting all the points! Great stuff tho SK, you and I are on the same wavelength on all of this. A hobby is just that, a hobby. It's so you can relax, unwind and HAVE FUN in your spare time. You have a hobby for YOU, not for others. So do what you think and feel is right.

 

Thanks Billy. I know you talking about how you view your own girls over the last couple of years has helped me feel comfortable about how I personally feel about my DD kids, instead of worrying that everyone will point and say "Hey, look at the freak!!" I have some very distinct and deep thoughts on the matter, but have never really gotten into it because I respect those who just enjoy them as big figures. It can be difficult to talk about without getting heavy handed/preachy because it is such an important subject to me. Times like this I'm happy to share some of those feeling when the struggle is more than just a financial one.

 

Pickle said:

I already have another DD girl, my DD Miu, which I plan on making into a MDD.

 

The MDD brand of cute is dangerous and addictive. Tamayuki was my first DD and completely stole my heart before anyone else could. You have been warned.

 

Pickle said:

Thank you again for your experiences with your own DD. And hehe about Ralph~ :3

 

I'm glad I could be of some help! And if you want to see a little bit of Ralph, here is the only photo story he's been in so far.

 

~Sister Kyoya

 

Awwwwh~!

Ralph is a cutie pie. :3 I hope you can make more photo stories with him. I think it'd be a fun thing to see. And Dakota's reaction to Ralph, hahahaha.

Hehe, I heard MDD's can be addictive and heard of some people have MDD collections/clans/minions/obsessions. Hahahahaha. I hope Miu will turn out as cute as I plan on her to be. Her character is supposed to be sweet, with a mixture of enegertic-ness and a bit of hyperactivity. Maybe a pinch of being a lil mischievous but I'm not entirely sure on that one yet. We'll see how it goes. ^^

And of some help? You were a lot of help! ^^

I hope you have a very nice day though, by the way~

Edited March 21, 2019 by Pickle

Call me a cynic, but I think this "not-bonding" issue tends to happen to the majority of the less well-loved/ popular/ expensive sculpt. Rarely do you see doll owners having trouble "bonding" with a Saber Lily or a Yuki Morikawa. From what I've observed in DoA, the same thing happens to a lesser extent in the BJD community as well.

 

Another possible reason might be the sheer number of people rushing into to hobby without bothering to find out what they like or want. I have seen many new owners getting Dollfies or Bjds because it's the "in" thing to have or because the doll was cheap, only to regret it later.

Proctor of the Dawn said:

Call me a cynic, but I think this "not-bonding" issue tends to happen to the majority of the less well-loved/ popular/ expensive sculpt. Rarely do you see doll owners having trouble "bonding" with a Saber Lily or a Yuki Morikawa. From what I've observed in DoA, the same thing happens to a lesser extent in the BJD community as well.

 

Another possible reason might be the sheer number of people rushing into to hobby without bothering to find out what they like or want. I have seen many new owners getting Dollfies or Bjds because it's the "in" thing to have or because the doll was cheap, only to regret it later.

I can see that on some people but that's not how I think it works for most, personally. I just really think that some people just don't bond with certain sculpts. It just happens. I gave up on trying to get a Saber Lily because I didn't believe her head was worth $800 to $1000 so yeah (even though one day if I get a job that pays a bunch I might try again but I really am not sure if she still is worth it or not). *shrugs* For me, it's not the popularity of the head but if I actually like it or not or feel like I can work with the doll itself. And I got my Miu for very cheap compared to other sculpts and I love her very very much even though she seemed damaged from seller photos etc.

Now, I did rush into the hobby, in a way, I'll admit but I did look at a bunch of different sculpts for a few months before I even had the money to even think about getting a doll let alone a DD. I also did some research about staining, mods, and other things related to DD as well before I wound up buying one. I guess I was just very excited to see an Alna for sale since I rarely see her get sold unless it is a full set or something. Soooo yeah~

But thank you for your insight. 🙂

Edited March 21, 2019 by Pickle

If you've already bonded with Miu, without her having any faceup then I think that you should probably sell your Alna like you want to. Since you bonded so quickly with Miu, I think that means you really have a strong attraction to her head mold which is good... And since that didn't happen with Alna, even though she has a faceup, maybe that is a warning sign showing that there isn't a strong bond.

 

Most people seem to feel that the doll should be completed before fully deciding, myself included, but it seems you feel really strongly about selling her so that's what you should do. If you are hesitant, then just sit on it for a while. I understand not wanting to invest in a body, especially since I read you want your Miu to be a MDD, and I don't think that's what you wanted for your Alna. I am guessing you wanted different bodies, so it's not like you could buy a body for Miu and then test on Alna. >__<

 

If you do decide to sell Alna, that'd be money to go towards fixing up your Miu and getting her a body. It could end up being a good thing... Alna will go to another home, and your Miu will be complete! Either way I hope you do not feel too bad about it, I think that dolls are special and I understand the remorse you may feel... But it will be okay, no matter what you decide to do. I'm looking forward to seeing how your Miu ends up.

There is also people like me who really bonded but emergencies came up. Some could be just unwanted bill, personal health or sick pet. I really like the hobby and I like my custom doll I did, it's just my 8 year old rabbit hasn't been doing so good these past few months. I know once everything settles down and finances return, so shall I. I do feel guilty since she was the only thing that really has sold compared to figures that were worth similar prices. Though that's what growing up is about...losing your things you love for responsibilities or in this case other life that you love. My dollfie will always exist in my head and my heart so I know one day she will return (thinking of it as a summer vacation)

 

I'd say regarding to your situation don't feel guilty either way, just think of it as if you sell her she can always come back from "her vacation". Or maybe you will be able to bring some less fortunate girl to your home in the future or give extra stuff to your other girl. I'm sure either way it's best to do with what makes you feel happiest. But feeling too guilty about it can cause you other problems too (i.e. health), just remember to send warm wishes and happy thoughts with her if you do sell her.

Happened to me once with Milhi. I actually DID like her at first, but over time it died down and I realized that I can't really bond with her as much as I wanted to and can't seem to find a style that I liked , so I ended up trading her for a Rise instead